Sitting here on the laptop with a cup of green tea to sooth my mind, I just can’t figure out what had happened to me in the past few days. I m juggling myself to come up and write, have things in my mind to talk about but I don’t want to and I really don’t get that why I don’t. I’m visiting blogs, read what people are sharing that is coming up in their lives and what is happening out there around them. It’s not that I’m dead and that nothing is happening around me. Infact there is much more in my life than I can think of; loads of changes are going on within me and around me as well. Im looking at boxes of different sizes all piled up carrying my whole life within them, my childhood, my teenage and beyond that as well. I’m packing myself for not sure how long and when it will be the time to unpack is still unknown.

I have been pondering for days on what is with everything around me and within me. M I taking some sort of revenge from myself or is it just another part of the year Ill be passing by when the days get longer and the nights shorter. The time when you feel you have nothing worthy enough to think of or to do. You feel constipated regarding your thoughts, because the only thing that is working in your mind is emptiness. I’m so easily agitated and display utmost stupidity on the slightest injection of nuisance. I burp out all fungi type thoughts that were cultivated within me somewhere, from all the deepest darkest shady areas of my soul. And then the worse happens I regret what I have said and done, I'm immersed in that slimy fluid of guilt. The kind that resembles the quality of quicksand, the more you move the more you descend. The devilish side of your brain celebrates this event and takes you in the dungeon of doom where all of what you can think of is terrifying, filled with regret and guilt. The way you felt before of what happened is nothing infront of what will happen next. The wise don’t say it like this that“Nothing hurts more than words coming out from someone’s mouth”. Plenty of times I have seen people saying things out of rage which they don’t even mean. The thoughts that are buried inside them are instantly dug out and are tossed on the victims face without the notice of the perpetrator.

I have seen people fighting over the stupidest things on roads, streets, malls even in Masajid. Things that have no meaning what so ever but those who have a taste for anger enjoy every bit of it. They enjoy the flavor of humiliating someone, they take pleasure in announcing it to everyone how much tough time they had given to someone at a bus stand. Going through a similar article on a friend’s blog I share the same views as he does. Sometimes you witness something bad happening in public but you feel your hands are just held back by a force, often I have felt the same magnetic force to slap and beat someone really hard who was standing in public and was presenting a one man show of his wealth and power to a person of less affluence, whether it was his mistake or not only the poor has to suffer. Doesn’t matter if the rule is broken by a Toyota Corolla or a W11 the price is paid by W11.

Often have I noticed that men don’t spare someone when they are mad at them. And they regret it later on. They must do, but there egoistic companion keeps reassuring them that nothing has gone wrong, it's not a big deal this happens to everyone you’re not the only one, what else could you have done that stupid rickshaw driver wasn’t giving you the way. People say they have temper issues, but I say why they (including myself) keep it prevailing, why don’t we work on it, why don’t we sort out the issues that are accumulating within us. So that if and if we go through such a time we don’t bulge with anger rather we hold on to that patience which is needed just to pass those few minutes as after that the heat that is generated within yourself for pressing down that lava begins to serenade your ears.

We not just I it’s We who need the power to overcome this devil within us who enjoys and celebrates the festival of anger and revenge. Feasting over our emotions filled with guilt and regret. I guess it’s time now that we should put him to a fast!