This stranded corner of a highway looks so surreal and serene, no wonder loneliness has seeped inside of me for an unimaginably long period of time. This solitude has given me the strength to know what I actually was and going to be. Those long walks in my pre-occupied thoughts gave me the power to run away from the world whenever and wherever I wished for.
The moments in time when you actually look back at something, gives you the moment of something that had past by, no matter how vivid the hallucination seems to be, you can never find yourself standing in there forever. After all what this world gives you, you have to come back to it again, either crashed or burnt or like a HULK of your own kind.
I love my solitude for it has given me what Im now. It has given me the power to think, to imagine, to relate, to concentrate, to agree and to differ, to sow and to reap. It has molded me into something that I never was years ago. When I play back those days I see myself as a vulnerable soul, not sure of what could it do or bear. Getting slacked at different stages of my life and making decisions either right or wrong of my own, I learnt stuff the hard way, but I did. In the end, that's all what matters.
I can never let anyone inside those deepest darkest corners of my life, because the darkness inside a being can never be explained or transferred unto someone else (that just seems too weird), this is how an individual differs from another. This is how we bear the tag of being 'Unique'. It isnt how we portray our thoughts in the form of words, it is how we transform and mold our deepest darkest imaginations into tangible things like 'Words'.
Reflex those muscles inside and see what you can shape and create after a session or two.
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October 11, 2010 at 9:50 PM
I love walks and runs and the power it gives me over myself :-)
October 12, 2010 at 11:07 AM
the 'words' seemed tough to me. I need to read it few more times to realize...
I loved the feeling of you regarding your solitude...
best wishes Sana!
October 25, 2010 at 11:16 PM
@Raaji: Ohh I wish we had stranded highways here in Pakistan :P
@Mahmud: hahahah naah its easy just give it another read. Im sure u'll make it through :)