Sitting alone in the exact corner, where once I used to sit and look at you for hours. I still see the same enormity within you. Nothing has changed. You seem to be as deep and as bewildered as you used to be before. Having no sympathy for those who sit there in those dark corners looking at you and beating the feel to drown within. It seems so alluring to them to just keep on walking towards You, deeper and deeper into you.
Sitting here I can still see the rocks lying there half dry and half wet. You never want anyone to be complete dont you, except for yourself. You feel only you have the right to be complete, to be strong, to be powerful. You never give up your strength for anyone dont you. Not even for me. For I have given you my love. As You took him IN without even looking back at Me. Not listening to my crumbled moans, when I sat there for weeks, looking back at you, with eyes filled with tears, anguish, rage and envy. Just pretending sitting in that corner with my eyes fixed right at you, waiting for that moment when you will give me back my Love, but you didnt. You took him away from me Forever. You just loved looking at me all lost and gone astray. You loved looking at me didnt you, you loved to have me there every day and every night, sitting there looking at you when you kissed the soil with an intensity that drove shivers down my body. And as the days passed and the dawn of a new day broke you craved to see me, you longed for me. I became your prey, the one you will do anything for. For all you wanted was to take me within, to be complete. But I wasnt a fool. I came each day just to tell you, you can never be complete, indeed you took my love away but I will never let myself fall for your prey, I come here for my Love and I still will. But I will make you long for your desire as you made me for my Love.
I will never want you to be complete, I will never fall for your strength. I will Never let you WIN.
June 16, 2010 at 2:36 AM
Wow! Deep and very creative.
Best
June 16, 2010 at 2:44 AM
Thanks Balal for dropping by my blog and taking out time to comment on the content :)
June 16, 2010 at 3:03 AM
Indeed Deeep and Supercreative Sana :D
June 16, 2010 at 4:33 AM
Woaahh Nikki, this is seriously one of your best posts i have read so far.
(though i comment on just a few, sorry for that)
June 16, 2010 at 9:51 AM
You are welcome :)
Best
June 16, 2010 at 3:08 PM
Very touchy post Nikki. It touched my soul.
June 16, 2010 at 3:50 PM
@Abstractor: thanks for appreciating :)
@Shagufta: LOLX! its always ok not to comment it happens to me at times as well, I read some one's post and dont know what to comment or either Im in a hurry and plan to get back to the blog and comment later on but than I usually forget =/
@Collin: Im glad you felt what I wrote :)
June 17, 2010 at 3:20 AM
PS: LOVE the new layout! esp the commenting area. Awesome :D
June 17, 2010 at 3:20 AM
Wow. This is written so beautiful but holds a hint of sadness to it.
June 17, 2010 at 6:09 AM
thanks for understanding! But I'll surely be commenting on a regular basis from now on.. (:
June 17, 2010 at 2:20 PM
@Smiley: Thanks for liking both the theme and the Post, and yeah this post is like a scenario created for a part of a story :)
@Shagufta: Will be delighted to read your comments :)
June 17, 2010 at 4:46 PM
HI Nikki!!
(see i just commented again! ;) made you happy? :D )
June 17, 2010 at 9:46 PM
:) Id suspect whoever that was, they've already lost :)
June 17, 2010 at 11:44 PM
@Shagufta: awwwwwwww thanksh :D
@Absar: Ok! U seriously have to clarify ur comment now :P
November 23, 2010 at 6:16 PM
I was just thinking the same thing. Sitting right there in the corner, looking, no, staring at my beloved; all the time. Wishing that she'd look at me just once. Just a glance at least, something, please, anything. But then the moment was lost and I, too.
Your words really have touched my soul, deep inside me.
I know you might have not meant any of this and might have written it for the sake of it. But still. I want you know what I'd say to this post if my beloved had posted this? I'd say, I wanted to be complete, I wanted to be whole again. But why did you think that I could be complete without you? I wanted to have you. I wanted to feel you, deep inside me, where I have never let anyone else ever roam. I wanted to feel your presence inside every breath I took. Yes! I loved looking at you all lost... I loved looking at you all lost inside me, right into the thoughts of having just me for yourself. Why is it bad? What caused the rebellion that the way you looked at me has changed? That the way you made me feel has changed? Why? Why couldn't I enjoy looking at you wishing, desiring and praying for me only? Why couldn't I pretend not to care, just to see you wish for me more? Just when I thought of letting go of all this and making you mine, and letting you know how much you mean to me, what did you do? Turn away? If so, then I wish I had never let you know I loved you. That I had never turned soft for you. That I had never....stopped pretending of not loving you. Look at you and look at me. What have you done? What have your childish misled thoughts done to us? They've reduced my "being" to begging. The love I was always so proud of, is causing me to wish I had never been in love. Why, when our wishes become reality, we turn away from them? Why? Is this the way we should be? What you always wished me to be, I have become now. And now, you? Why? Let us fall in love, all over again. Let us both know the importance of each other. And what you mean to me and what I mean to you. Let us be complete together. A last chance at doing this. Because there will be never again this stage in our lives, for we have learned the lessons; the hard way. I'm waiting. I always will be.
December 18, 2010 at 3:02 AM
I liked what you would have said to ur beloved in this case, but just as a thought I would like you to read this All over again as the Sea being the One I Loved, the one I lost be the Love I had for him. I hope ull get an entirely different meaning after reading it, keeping THIS in mind.
December 18, 2010 at 3:03 AM
Thanks for dropping by :)
December 24, 2010 at 10:45 PM
Wow! Now I really do see your point. Its awesome. I loved it. Keep up the good work. I was going through sad moments of my love life the time I read that. You know Einstein was right. Time is related to the observer. :P I read it the way my heart wanted me to. So. I kinda..I am sorry. Wont happen again.
December 24, 2010 at 10:49 PM
Ok. I am sorry. I kinda.. Err.. Dont know. But I clicked once. Nothing happened, I clicked again, nothing happened, I clicked the third time, still nothing happened. So, I thought the problem must be with the profile selection. So I changed it to "Anonymous" and clicked again. Now I saw "Your comment will be visible after approval" I feel like an idiot. But I am sorry. I hope you understand. Because I didnt mean it. Please delete the repetitions that it will cause.
Thank you!
December 27, 2010 at 12:22 PM
Naaah its all ok, I guess google knew what was going on all this time, So I didn't get any repetitive comments from your side :P And even if there were they wouldnt have been any problem for sure :)
Thanks for dropping by again :)
January 1, 2011 at 8:19 AM
Yeah. Your articles are great. But there's a reason behind the mystery of how I found your blog. :P I am kinda going through a broken relationship, trying to fix it but very difficult. Back in those good times, I had those funny nicknames, one of them was "Goli Moli" and when the "missing you" meter goes way up the scale, I searched for all the nicknames I had. And voila, found your blog. That birthday thing and all that. But your writing kinda amused me so I stayed for a little longer and found a lot of stuff worth reading. Thanks for that. Hope to see more of your writings.