Why do at times, the hardest thing in your entire life seems to be Connecting with your Self?

Sometimes the Emptiness kind of prevails within you. There are times when you feel, you have seriously TAKEN over that emptiness within you. But it's not truly Victory its Hallucination I guess. A kind of sweet dream when you feel you have finally brought light to your life, but the things, the situations, the people, the weather, EVERYTHING at times, bring you back to the same room, where You & Your Emptiness spent hours in Harmony!