Anonymous Thought's Blog

2011-03-07T01:02:00.000+05:00

Walking on the sea,

Seems just a dream.

Let me float, let me fly.

Burn my wings, let me Die!

My Ego once told Me.

2011-02-23T23:04:00.002+05:00

I have crossed the phase when every step that I took felt as if your shadow is just behind. Stalking and Embracing my Dust.

Let go of my mind and ill make sure that it flies off to a state of numbness. A state where neither do I gain, nor shall I loose.

Its time when either of us really let it Go.

P.S: A silent conversation with my Ego.

اس عالم

2011-02-08T22:30:00.000+05:00

بارش کی اس بھینی بھینی خوشبو سے

کبھی کسی کی ہنسی سے

کسی کی پیار بھری پکار سے

کسی کے لمس کے اس احساس سے

یوہنی چلتے ہوئے کسی شبیح سے

کبھی غصے کے اس عالم میں

جلتے, پگھلتے

میری یاد تو آتی ہوگی۔

Inspired by Absar Shah's 'Ghalat Fehmi'

I Love you Stranger.

2011-01-29T03:27:00.003+05:00

"Can you take my hand and feel what I had for him", she said that and took my old ragged hands in hers. At first I wished I could just rip our hands apart for I couldnt bear the cold and the fragility. "Yes dear, do you want something? Shall I get you some water?", I asked. She just laid there, staring in my eyes, and uttered something that I couldnt understand for a while, may be she was asking me to bring something or she just mumbled some words to break that deafening silence between us.

I cant believe I cant even talk to her anymore, I have been living with her like strangers for months now, she doesnt even remember my name. Of all the things a man could go through in old age, she had to put me through this. I cant even hate her for anything now, she wouldnt even get the extent of my madness and frustration for she thinks her beloved husband has fled away leaving her behind with a stranger. Odd enough she loves everything about this man, comes up with questions every night, sadly the same ones again.

She tightened her grip by my hand as if she lost it for a while, her strength made me skip a beat. By the time I could come back, she pointed at something lying on the side desk. But when I moved to get it for her she stopped me; "Not now dear, not now. Give it to him when I'll leave this room for good", she said. I didnt have the strength to fight her back that night, I didnt have the feel for anything, not even the taste to answer all her questions over and over again. I wished I could sleep that night and wake up with a bad dream, and everything around me seems just the way it was. But dreams and reality are always mistaken. "I better get some sleep. Do you want me to bring you something?", I asked. She just stared for a while as if she was calculating her answer and then brought my hands close to her face like she wanted to tell me something I didnt know before. "Stranger, I love you for every night that you have spared with me. No matter how much I loved my husband, I love you even more. If this is when my life ends and he comes upto you someday just tell him what he once told me; It's easier to fall in Love with a stranger!". Those words destroyed everything that was around me, even Me. She kissed my hand and then left them numb.

The night was restless and insane, I couldnt sleep for a moment and it turned out to be a curse in the morning. She had passed away that night without even giving me a clue, how or when. The day was spent in a hassle and the night alone. How I wished I had spent just a little more time with her but fate had to take her away before I could leave her behind. Pressing my hands against the sheets, I sat there by her corner thinking how different it would have been if she remembered who I was atleast THAT night, just that. Those words took my sight towards where she pointed at that night, towards a letter "Give it to him when I have let the room", her voice echoed from somewhere behind. I knew it was for me and that I had to see, the crumbled pages, the shaky handwritten words, all seemed a part of her. The letter smelt something that was filled with love.

Stranger,

I love you for who you are and whom you were. I have been spending each night with you as if it was my last. You seem to think how I have forgotten you and I know how annoyed you were at times, but to tell you the truth I loved annoying you because then I had a chance to make it up to you.

I remember you talking me out of all that I had gone through the night we met, as strangers. I cant forget how you made it all so easy for me, that I could feel words melting on my tongue that night. It was something within you that held me close.

All I needed now was to feel how you had felt that night, how you had fallen in love with a complete stranger that night and how you loved every day after that. Take it as my one last wish before I die, I wanted to know YOU every night, I wanted to have YOU every night by my side. Not just as a husband but a stranger with whom I had fallen in love each night.

Take this letter as my farewell kiss to you, and remember I could have never forgotten you. Of all the worse that could have happened to you, I would have ended myself way before all this had come true.

I love you stranger.

Yours Only.

I wish I could just rip this piece of paper apart as her words have killed all that fire within. She left me with no words to say at all!

Starbucks.

2011-01-01T16:40:00.002+05:00

The sense of snow pouring over my palm elates my soul; as I enjoy the scene of a newly covered snow park. Strange how seasons drastically change everything that is going on within you. The place brings back so much that has passed by, I sit and enjoy every bit of my memory flashing past my eyes. The now frozen stream, the freshly covered bridge; all remind me of the day he asked "Will I be the one who will dare to dream along with him, who will dare to step up with him in ever leap that he takes" and all I had to say was a simple Yes. All the time that I took must have been a dead end battle for him, an uphill castle to conquer. All that faith he put in me, brought me where I'm.

I sit here and wait for seasons to change and bring along all the emotions that I hold within. Let me learn who Im and who he is, for we both have our souls sketched on a single canvas. The chilly winds make me want you more by the day and greater at night. The winds pass by and caress my soul, marking your kisses my way. I know what your up to, for I know you too well. I can read all that compassion in your eyes, as all I can see within is the image of my soul drowned in yours.

You come along and break me off from my journey of the past, hand me over my steaming Starbucks, and all I gaze at; is the shine of that ring circling your finger. Reminds me of the day I finally said. " I Do!"

Im NOT an Exception!

2010-12-21T23:50:00.001+05:00

What is that feeling when you're standing in a crowd and cant recognize yourself? The feeling when you feel your presence is only superficial. The feeling when you dont know when to laugh or to cry and you keep on waiting for a cue. The feeling when you're standing searching for that ONE or may be the only stare towards you. The feeling when you realize if its even the place you're meant to be at. The feeling when you just wish it badly rains and you cry your heart out with a relief that nobody would notice. The feeling of a void presence, the essence of a silent scream. The feeling when you want to end a burdened conversation. The feeling when nobody notices your plain emotions under the masquerade of your skillful smile. Tell me the feelings of emptiness, tell me that it doesnt exist, that its just my illusion, that all those nights I spent with my eyes staring those walls were just acts of madness, tell me no living being can be empty. Just tell me Im NOT an Exception!

Is it all because of you?

2010-12-18T02:56:00.000+05:00

Is it you whom Im looking for all this time? For all I see in a Man ahead are trails of your essence left behind. The space between me and him can never be the same as it was before. I can never be the same, can never feel as I felt before. These emotions have really ripped myself from within, left me wander astray and look amidst life as if love didnt ever exist!

Why do I always have to look for you within everyone I meet. Why is it always you who is at the back of my mind whenever I want to take a step ahead, why do my feet feel all numb when I want them to be there for me. You have left me all useless, hopeless and pathetic. I have been trying hard, harder then ever before to get myself out of all of these childish desires. I lost you and I lost myself a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold on to, a smile to look upto. I cant fill my eyes with those tears again, cant fill that face with that smile again. I cant fill my heart with that love again.

I just cant wish upon a star anymore, I just can pray for a heart anymore, I just cant ask for Love anymore. I dont deserve self anymore. I dont deserve Me anymore.

All I fear now is of dying alone!

The Last Kiss.

2010-12-03T04:20:00.002+05:00

Wrapped up in myself, burning my soul in these crypted ashes of the past, this place doesnt give me the peace of mind anymore. The rock's too hard, the grass too stiff, the moon too shallow, the air too breathless and the sea below so dead. The life that I lost which was once here by my side took away all that was, with her. The gleam of the star looks fake, a masquerade of her hidden tears from the searchers above. I know you arent any proud of me looking all astray and bewildered living on this land of the Winners, the Conquerors. I on the other hand have lost all my battles, burnt all my ships, the day I lost You. The day I became the reason to loose you. The day I saw you Dead!

Its my plan to meet you today for once or forever. After a hundred nights spent in that smoke, all those tears lost in the weed, I now have the guts to stand and scream my lungs out, scream to the sea below, "Your about to take me in,and I dont want to be rejected the way Im by life, I know Im a disgrace, but all I ask is for a praise to have kept the power to give away by my will". From the time I tried to cry, to the point where all these glands feel like a slab of dead, swollen, stinky meat. I tried, tried really hard to live like a Man but I failed, failed you for like the thousandth time and apparently tonight would be the last.

Standing on these feet I realize that my legs arent shivering anymore. Since the day I held you in these arms all pale and cold, so still and concrete, they lost the sense of Life. The smell of this breeze defines your presence around me, marks your path close to me. I know what you mean and want from me, but my love for you isnt that strong any more that it makes me live for all those years ahead without letting me know where ill be without you. I cant let you distract me for long, I just cant. I have taken the steps and I can see the distance in between, I need your yes in this. You just cant go all denying about it, making me guilty for letting you go, making me guilty for not saving you when I could. What about your fault, the fact that you left me all alone, fact that you didnt even give me the time to hear you for one last time.

The gush of wind that is now blowing beneath me is endlessly trying to make me fly, the efforts are all in vain my dear, You couldnt make me live for long, you just couldnt. Be my beloved and give me that Kiss for one last time before I end it all forever, before I get a chance to see you after so long. Caress me with your Lips, let me taste the pain that it gives one last time. Let it be my precious moment of Life before I die. Give me your One Last Kiss.

Serenade to Me!

2010-11-21T22:15:00.001+05:00

Your soft hands rolling all over the strums, the beauty of their flow, and the rythum that they blowed. It was just so serene. I was the one you used to sing to, hum to, play to. But that seems ages ago. Your memory is fading away, burnt to dust in those chambers of my land. I can't believe I could ever burn my own ship and see it waver away in the sea. Was it that I was a fool or I knew too much?

Too much of who I'm and not you!

Sacred Fragrance

2010-11-16T12:28:00.001+05:00

Playing around with her 4 year old son Mujtaba and almost a year old toddler Meherzad, Abeer kept on thinking about how life was when Zain was there by their side. It was hard for her to think he wasn’t there anymore. She could remember the same time of the day but when Zain was around. The kids would run around him like tiny baboons. Meherzad was a Princess in Daddy’s lap while Mujtabba was trustworthy enough to become his upfront warrior and who else had the honor of being the Queen of his throne but Abeer herself. He was the love of her life, her most cherished gem and looking after him was like a sacred ritual for her. He had become that strongest pillar of her life whom she leaned over at any time of the day. Be it when she was not feeling herself or at times when she just wanted someone to love and caress her.

Sometimes she would just run her fingers across his clothes and feel his once present body amongst them. She could pick out his favorite tuxedo and just lie down on the bed with it, sensing him around somewhere. She knew it was his fragrance that spread across the room marking his existence beside her. His strong, bold, charismatic scent that gave her the confidence to be who she was and feel proud about it. His fragrance would take her to those enchanted valleys where separation didn’t exist. Where all she could do was to look at her love and feel him around her, sense him, touch him, taste him, embrace him with her thoughts. For the void feeling of Life and Death didn’t exist in dreams. It was a sacred land for those who believed in union even after death.

Her hours spent staring at the outside world through the window reminded her of their time when he used to count all the stars in the sky for her. Their nights spent in confessing and confiding in each other. Now she could sense his transformation in their kids. His actions can be distinctively seen in them. They were turning out to be complete reflections of his soul. Gateway to his presence in their Lives. She could see him in Mujtaba’s smile and Meherzad’s eyes. Their touch filled her soul with his presence, his luminous heavenly presence amongst them. She could see his words on a note that he left that day before leaving. They say that people get to know when they are about to leave this world, they get this gut feeling that this might be the day when they are kissing their loved one’s for the last time. Most probably Zain knew it himself that day that he wouldn’t make it till dinner that night, so he left her a note.

Dearest,

I will be late tonight, don’t stay up and ruin your sleep just for me. For you have given me a lot for all this time and I couldn’t have asked for anything else. You have been and are the spark of sanity in my Life, my savior from demise. Pray that we keep on loving each other till eternity.

Yours Only,

Zain

Neither did she know that he would give her this note as a token of his love before he left her behind looking for him till infinity. She just stood there in a state of temporary death and wondered how all that could have happened within seconds. She wished she didn’t make that call just to tell him that she loved him, the sound of the collision was as deathly as the thought itself. How couldn’t he see that car coming from the opposite side? She clenched her fists even tight for she recalled the last time she saw his face. Of all the bruises and scars on his face, she saw that he had serenity all over his body. As if he didn’t regret a bit of what just happened because he knew this was coming and he wasn’t afraid of it. He knew he had left behind all his love for her, carefully transmitted in to his kids. She just had to start looking for him in them; for whenever she will look deeper, she will only find a hint of his reflection in their soul.

She felt someone tugging her shirt and to her surprise Mujtaba was standing there holding on to Mr.Bunny all packed for a good night sleep. She collected both of her gems and tucked them inside the bed to have a ‘They lived happily after….’ bedtime story. After all those ups and downs a Man goes through his/her life, there comes a turn where everything turns out to be happily ever after, after all. Life without Zain wouldn’t have been any easier if it weren’t for these two. Days were meant to pass by living and running after them and nights were spent in his dreams for life was now meant to pass on as it did before. The difference remained in his presence which she knew couldn’t be felt physically but had to be sensed by his sacred fragrance all around them.

Dear Me

2010-11-03T00:58:00.000+05:00

Dear Me,

Its about time that I actually came up and conversed with you. I feel sick of coming over to you in that darkest corner. It's time we confront each other in the hard, unsympathetic day light. I need to see all that scars you have imposed on me all this time; for I want to see how deep they have seeped and how bad do I look with all those bruises on my self. I want to see myself in that bright day light, that I have longed to see for so long. I need the courage to live in the reality, for your fantasies have given me nothing more then those sickening feeling of being left out, out of place and more like a frantic 'out of order' machine, who knows nothing about what the hell it has to do with that dime.

Dear Me, I apologize for not listening to you that often, but you need to learn to get on along without me, for it's getting hard for me to balance the two extremes of my life. Your pressure is driving me nuts, and it isnt far away that Ill end up being an insomniac, anorexic, diseased, ~~omnipotent~~ piece of sludge.

Ill keep on writing to you from time to time for I know no matter how far off I try and run away from you, I don't have to run back to come back to you. I can just stop and look into myself to find you there in the deepest darkest corner, where you'l always be.

With great love,

Myself.

That Morning's Glory!

2010-10-29T20:58:00.000+05:00

It’s hard to believe that I can still taste that tremor within my dreams after all that time had passed by. The freshness of gunpowder and the stinkiness of fresh blood, the deafening sounds of tanks, grenades and bullets flying around wake me up from the hallucinative dream. The graveness of all those groans and moans still make me sick to the core. Its still hard for me to go through that night all over again, but my life is destined to gag me, and I don’t even blame it for doing that. For the day I was posted in the barren lands of Afghanistan, I knew Life had something big for me. It wasn’t because of the cruel, extremist, hypocritical image of the Taliban, but it was something what your 6^th sense keeps on feeding you at the back of your mind.

Strange as it may seem, when you’re there at the battlefield, the heat and the adrenaline shows you the wildest mirages of things similar to your life back home. The happiness of the moment when you hold the love of your family sent over to you in the form of a letter remains unexplainable. Thus the misery that haunts you when you lie to them about the situation at the ground and the guilt that prevails becomes unbearable. Living in the digital world sending letters instead of emails doesn’t make any difference. Both cannot define the intensity of a lie and the depth of the pain that it holds. I’ve been lying on this bed immobile for months, unable to do anything on my own. I keep on running my life on the raged roads of my memory. No matter how tight the walls get over me, I know they aren’t for real, for I’ve seen worse that night. I just can’t compare those hours spent beneath all that rubble with the static life here on the bed.

It was the time when he and I were aiming for the opponents group and those clever headed goons aimed the missile directly at our barrack, that was when everything around changed, for the both of us. That is the time when all your plans, trainings and war strategies turn out to be complete failures. Then it’s just you and your Fate, the time when you say ‘What’s meant to happen will happen’. If only I could save him that night. If only I had all the strength to take myself and him out of all that misery. All I could see from the corner of my eye, stuck under the debris, was his half burnt face and lips calling out for someone’s mercy. If only I could reach up to him and touch his agonizing body which was torn into a hundred pieces, I believe that things would have been different today. Looking at him lying there in complete abyss I never realized the intensity of pain my body was bearing for so long. I could hear him calling out each one of his loved one’s names, shouting from the depth of his ruptured lungs of how much he loved them and wanted to be with them right now. My eyes couldn’t even come up with tears because of the numbness of all that pain. The once present tremor in his voice was soon fading away for he knew it was time to fly away.

I never realized if he was even conscious of the fact that I was still there with him. Calling out his name from that darkened, grimy corner, I could sense a state of shock reflected in his voice, which vanished as quickly as it appeared. Hear him laugh tearfully, wrenched my soul from the inside. All I could do was to talk to him, and make these last moments of his life less miserable for him. I just can’t forget those last few lines that he spoke to me before leaving me behind all alone “Don’t just loose your hope for tonight, as I know you will live unto the day to witness the glory of that Morning”. Looking into his frozen eyes, I couldn’t deny what he said. It was hard for me to comprehend for how those excruciating minutes, turned into hours and how I actually made it till the morning. The moment when those first few rays caressed my face, peeking through that hole, I couldn’t believe I have been found. They say the realization about the truth is the hardest of all. Lying there motionless for hours before they took me out, I kept thinking of nothing, nothing at all, as if my mind wasn’t able to get itself out from the sense of shock that it went through the entire night. Being carried away in that stretcher I kept thinking if I would really be able to make it to the Hospital and then lying here in the bed at home I realize that I have a long way to go through after that night. Staring at the floor at which the early morning rays have started their game, I believe in what my mate said to me, I did live up to witness the glory of this Morning, irrespective of what I lost or how much I lost, I thank the Lord for keeping me alive through that night just so I could live up my life to witness the glory that His world holds for me.

'Words'

2010-10-11T20:44:00.001+05:00

This stranded corner of a highway looks so surreal and serene, no wonder loneliness has seeped inside of me for an unimaginably long period of time. This solitude has given me the strength to know what I actually was and going to be. Those long walks in my pre-occupied thoughts gave me the power to run away from the world whenever and wherever I wished for.

The moments in time when you actually look back at something, gives you the moment of something that had past by, no matter how vivid the hallucination seems to be, you can never find yourself standing in there forever. After all what this world gives you, you have to come back to it again, either crashed or burnt or like a HULK of your own kind.

I love my solitude for it has given me what Im now. It has given me the power to think, to imagine, to relate, to concentrate, to agree and to differ, to sow and to reap. It has molded me into something that I never was years ago. When I play back those days I see myself as a vulnerable soul, not sure of what could it do or bear. Getting slacked at different stages of my life and making decisions either right or wrong of my own, I learnt stuff the hard way, but I did. In the end, that's all what matters.

I can never let anyone inside those deepest darkest corners of my life, because the darkness inside a being can never be explained or transferred unto someone else (that just seems too weird), this is how an individual differs from another. This is how we bear the tag of being 'Unique'. It isnt how we portray our thoughts in the form of words, it is how we transform and mold our deepest darkest imaginations into tangible things like 'Words'.

Reflex those muscles inside and see what you can shape and create after a session or two.

Its time to Leave that hand.

2010-09-29T21:35:00.000+05:00

Let me be how I wish to be,

Holding on to that last strand,

Isn't easy for me,

Nor as easy for you.

Let me be how I wish to be,

For I want you to be,

As You wish to be,

It's time now to leave your hand, for I have been holding on to you for far too long now, you have held me whenever I needed that hand, whenever I needed that strength to keep on going with this world. The world isnt a Board Game for me now, but I have learnt my lessons the hard way. Taking decisions aren't any easier, but sticking on to them has become my strength.

Im just the same old me, not being able to say exactly what I want. Locking up things that bother me, deep inside. You had the key, the access to whatever was in there, but my strength became my weakness and I began to loose the battle of my Dignity. Time flies by, so does everyone else along with it.

I wish to leave that hand now, for I have surely piled up everything inside me to the extent that I cannot explain the intensity of the pain inside. I have failed myself yet again, but I dont regret doing that, because Im proud of the fact that I served my long dead Ego. I served everyone else accept myself, I can NEVER satisfy myself my dear, NEVER!

Holding on to your hand for far too long now,

I just wish I never did,

For down below I see the ragged rocks,

And the sight of you above makes me shiver,

Death isnt easy,

Let me just die the easy way,

By just stabbing the self inside.

Let me just DIE the easy way.......

They Say..

2010-09-23T00:12:00.000+05:00

It gets hard to digest when you realize you have more Foes at your back, then Friends ahead.

And when Life tightens it's grip around your neck, 'Playing Dead' isn't the Best Option.

My Life & Reality bites HARD!

First Day Already?

2010-09-21T01:23:00.001+05:00

*rubs eyes*
*stares at screen*
*rubs eyes again*
*starts typing*

So 20th September it was, my FIRST Day at a University in Pakistan. Living back in Qatar I dreamt about getting into a Pakistani University (but foreign it was for me back then). I loved the thought of getting ragged (slightly tremored though), making friends (Pakistani Nationals :P) and the feeling of everything being DESI. No tension of punishing your mouth with English for the Entire session. Not bored about the fact that you would be the ONLY one to raise your hand in a herd full of Dumb *coughs* Blondes in Hijab :P
The First day ran past by in an attempt to catch every possible Lecture that we could. The result, we managed to attend just ONE lecture out of the Entire 6 :P. But then gain better hopes for tomorrow InshAllah ;) Ok so the First Question asked after the First Day is 'Did you guys get Ragged?' then my answer *shamefully* Nahe, we didnt get ragged. Reason, nobody took us as freshers, or MORE like confused, baffled, I'llBeRagged kind of Freshers ;) A few of our Batch mates were ragged because they ran around even at the sight of a group of boys somewhere around the staircase. Gosh, that was effing Hilarious :P. They made them sing Nursery Rhymes. Alarms from the Seniors saved majority of us from the money snatching act, because we didnt bring any.
So a new Day has already begun, just my ritual to pack my stuff and head to bed is left.
Ill be dropping by from time to time, not sure when and where and how.
Keep on looking for me.

I say I'm a Failure

2010-09-17T02:52:00.001+05:00

Fixed on my favorite spot.
Time: 5:05am
Condition: Thoughtful

Sinking on this half lit sofa in my Lounge I just keep staring on this blank page infront of me for moments before I realize whats meant to be scribbled on it. Listening to the Call to Prayer in complete abyss, where the birds are the only beings busy in their Praises for the Lord Almighty. I recollect myself, my thoughts, memories, visions, inspirations, and all that has been a part of my life, a part of me for years now and words crawl out from my mouth "M I a complete Failure?". Knowing there isnt anyone here to break this moment of sheer re-connection then myself. I can see the shadow of my hand following the path of my palm which is busy pinning down the thoughts onto the paper.The shadow of reality is the shadow of truth, atleast thats how I try and console myself. Saying "M I a Complete Failure" doesnt really make me one, does it? If I'm a failure at something I soon realize the 2 basic rules about it, either:

You're not meant for it.
You're just not putting the right portion of yourself in it.

If it wasnt for the hardwork that pays off, their would have been just Winning and Losing, Chapter closed. Period.
The value of Hope, Fate and Faith would have been brought to ground Zero by then. As much as the shadow of reality keeps a track of you, it comes running behind you. The transformation lets you know your input and the extra effort needed, till the point where you cant see it, neither ahead nor behind. The point when you conquer your shadow is the point of Supreme Success. Though a shadow running ahead of you is the one that isnt meant for you when you start getting Mirages amidst your sufferings. Running after such a shadow is a complete waste of time. Just like Success comes from within, So does Failure. If we Own our Success we should be able to Own our Failures as well. But if that what comes from inside, isnt Sane enough, then you must be a Complete Failure.

I guess this is Eid then?

2010-09-11T07:38:00.000+05:00

كل ام و انتم بخير-عید مبارک

Another year and another Eid MashAllah, glad Allah has spared me with another year, after what has been said and done.Period

Eid is always special for everyone, kids, teens, post-teens, elderly just for Everyone. You can just imagine time flying by, comparing the changes happening over Eid each year. Trust Me that's the easiest way to determine when you Finally went from childhood to adulthood to being Aunty/Uncle :P. Life really plays around with you all the time, I remember my previous Eids spent back in Qatar and this year here in Karachi, everything seems to have changed (myself being the Biggest Factor).
Life changes and so does it effect the people around you, and for me it has effected just a few who mattered to me. This year has been full of changes, and adapting to a life full of changes isnt that easy, you fall, you stand, you fall again, and you try and scrape off the dust and stand again. But what we really have to realize is, no matter how many hardships we have been and are going through, there still WILL be someone in a far more worse situation than you. Try and appreciate your life a little bit more. What has been said and done in the past, cannot be forgiven or forgotten, but what's going on in the Present cannot be neglected or condoned. What things are Now, is the Reality. Either you keep it or you die, there isn't any other option left with you. Yes, the options you have are either you carry on with your Life sulking on your Past, cursing every past minute or You just get over the Past and get going with the Present. Whats there in the past is all piled up in files in your memory, going on along with your life is certainly NOT cheating with your Past, its just how they say 'Your Living your Life'.
Cheer up there is much more to life then just spending your Days and Nights thinking what could have been what, and what could have been better.
Eid is Up fellas, EID MUBARAK to All once again.
Stay Blessed and Cherish yourself :)

A Trip to the GraveYard

2010-09-09T03:18:00.001+05:00

Yes the title may seem annoying to a few, outrageous to a little and sarcastic to a hell lot of people. And Im going to stick with the latter. I know how visiting Graveyards is thought to be something very religious and very precise and it should be done properly, but heck NO these days it has been made a nuisance for the One's who wish to visit their dear one's and who are their solely for the Purpose of Fateha. But the moment you enter the Graveyard and offer your Salam, you are surrounded by all those bucket kids, yes the ones who run around the Graves and to be more precise pointing out the graves of your dear one's to you. Infact their GOOGLE MAP is far more intact then your Dearest GPRS, your the one who can rethink of the graves but aan aan they will MAKE sure you reach the right Grave at the right time. May be because they eat, sleep, play and die at the exact place. Then comes the time of the deal when they want You to pick Them out of the dozens of children to be responsible for cleaning up the grave (getting the dirt and stuff away from beside the Grave). No matter how much time and delay you take near your dearest's Grave They have all the time up for you, be it a funeral arriving at the moment or something more crucial They cannot in any circumstances spare you.

The moment you bade your farewell and get yourself and just yourself up for the departure you are first encountered from the kids for their wages and that has to be 200% more than what they actually deserve, a penny less would be considered a Sin and there will be a Siren sounded all over the Graveyard, the ones that can be heard at the time of an Impostor Alert, and an order for your Grave will be dispatched that instance, either you pay or you DIE that instance. That same moment you will be seen surrounded not only by the kids who did your work but also the ones who DIDNT do it, followed by the Amman Buddhan (dear old Lady) who calls herself as the Prosecutor and Demands that 5kg Aata and 2kg Sugar should be given away to everyone as a compensation. The moment of shear re-connection becomes an hour of Epic Drama of kids pulling your dupatta and qameez, following you to your car, wailing, whining, laughing, shouting, calling you names etcetera.

You ask them why is this stuff like this, they answer "Sahab koe paisa nahe dy kr gaya, is lyeh nahe kiya", you'l say "but your the one who is responsible for the cleaning of this area" and they will be reply you back with a blank stare (the one that makes you want to slap them real hard). They don't really have the potential knowledge about Not to Walk on the Graves, but spending 24/7 inside, this notion is lost somewhere in the Air. It's us who have to think twice before we manage to reach the Graves and I for sure decide to stand just outside, because in No Way do I want to step on to anyone being Living or Dead. But because at times due to the remoteness of the Grave they had to take that step and the habit of taking such steps is overpowered by the fact of not doing so. The thing that isn't really digesting inside me is that Why does it always have to be MONEY everywhere? Now what I see is my Mom keeping aside change in a pouch and waits for the time when it is heavier than a 5kg weight and then she plans her next visit to the Graveyard. Aren't Graveyards considered to be the resting place for the deceased, and Fateha is considered to be the One deed with which we can repay them. Why is that meeting with your dead Mother or Father made so hard that you first have to think about having the right amount of money before you plan your next visit? I don't want to go on playing the blame game. Along with many others, this is also a factor in the Country that is left un-attended. The kids are too poor to be scolded, infact while your Inside the Graveyard you dont feel like taking a word out of your mouth and once your Out, you just feel like beating the S*** out of them, but still following the ethics of the society and proving yourself Human enough you try and conquer the battle by Winning a Match of blank/hostile Stare.

Lailat-ul-Qadr

2010-09-05T02:45:00.001+05:00

As the Akhri Ashara has finally arrived, and yes Im LATE yet again, I'm here just to drop by a quick note, as per Ramadan last year I had posted a few Ebadah's specifically done on the Taaq raats, so if anyone wishes to have a read, follow the link HERE.

Prayers for Everyone :)

The World of Tags

2010-08-30T00:45:00.004+05:00

So trust me it has been months or around an year or so that I have done a Tag, these days nobody tags anyone anyhow. Considering that I'm STILL a child according to a comment by someone I have received lately, I planned to get done with the tag tonight :P And the tag sort of describes what a Human craves to be in his/her Imagination ;)

If I WERE!

If I were to be a Month; I'd say December, the Month that marks the End of the Gregorian Year (And because its Winter's )
If I were to be a Day of the Week; I'd say Friday, the Mubarak day of the Week.
If I were to be a Time of the Day; I'd say Early Morning (irrespective of the exact timing), It's such a serene time to be :)
If were to be a Season; I'd say Autumn; waiting to shed off those rotten years of my life.
If I were to be a Planet; I'd say Mars; a Human's NEXT possible stop ;)
If I were to be a Sea Animal; I'd say a Dolphin, that's the cutest and the most playful creature of the sea.
If I were to be a Direction; I'd say the Right one (not literally) but morally the Right Direction ;)
If I were to be a piece of Furniture; I'd say a Daybed, it gives you both the pleasure of falling asleep as well as a piece of convenient sitting :D
If I were to be a Liquid; I'd say blood (no explanation needed).
If I were to be a Tree; I'd be an Oak Tree, because it's Evergreen.
If I were to be a tool; I'd say a hammer, strike em' hard Dude!
If I were to be an element; I'd say Water, the Purest.
If I were to be a Gemstone; I'd say a Black Diamond, rarest and Prettiest :D
If I were to be a Musical Instrument; I'd say a Rabab, because its Simple and it's Folk.
If I were to be a Color; I'd say Sea Green, its just so Surreal.
If I were to be an Emotion; I'd say Satisfaction.
If I were to be a Fruit; I'd say an Apple, I'd keep the Doctor Away, TRUST ME! :P
If I were to be a Sound; I'd say the Sound of the Waves smashing the stones.
If I were to be a Car; I'd say I'm BLANK ( yes I can't think of ANY car right now =/ )
If I were to be a Food; I'd say a Healthy One, everyone talks about it, but no one really bothers to have some :P
If I were to be a Taste; I'd say I'd LOVE to be the Taste of Victory.
If I were to be a Pair of Shoes; I'd say None. (I dont want to be Shoes).
If I were to be a Bird; I'd say a Snow Owl, Pretty, Mysterious and Wise ;)

And here the Tag comes to a formal Ending. All the To Be's are truthfully answered (no bragging about them) If I really was to be anything from the above I'd prefer being the one I just answered.

And as a 'Pass On' ritual I pass this tag on to:

Ubee

Asma

Umema

Uni

SAWJ

Absar

Shaggy

Haris Gulzar

and etc etc, In short EVERYONE.

ps: I know nobody will think twice about getting done with the tag so Im not wasting my time adding links to the names :P Suit Yourself buggers :P

Yes, Im forcing myself.

2010-08-26T01:43:00.001+05:00

Ok so Im just forcing myself for the past couple of weeks to post an update, not that I have a REAL update in life apart from that I finally got admission and Im ready to crack some pencils/pens :P and oooh boy is it going to be tough, using keyboards as tool of expression for the past couple of years has totally taken away my power to write. At moments I feel like I have been a doctor in my previous birth (pechala janam) :P Only a pharmacist can victoriously decrypt what I could have written, not I, myself.
Ramadan is going great alhumdulilAllah, staying up till Sehri, enjoying all the pakoras that i can have at Aftaar (pretending as if I wont be allowed to have it for the next Aftaar :P) and etcetera.. The routine is just set and often I feel just a bit too stiff with my life these days. Im doing nothing creative apart from polishing my itsy bitsy novel. Yes the reason why I'm not posting any more episodes is that I have made a hell lot of changes in the previous ones, and I need a bit of suggestion. Since I have made an awful amount of amendments in the chapters so should I be posting them again, and remove the previous ones? (that will make me loose all the comments along with the post =/ ) or should I update the previous posts and give a quick update about the changes made in the form of a new post? I really need some motivation to get done with the novel, coz Eid isnt that far and my classes will commence just AFTER Eid, as I have heard Pakistan is generous enough to permit hardly 3-4 days of Eid Holidays (where as Im used to having 10 Holy Eid Fiesta Holidays :P ).
Life is getting a harder grip on me these days, often do I feel what I did wasnt right and then there are these days when the flame within just burns the frozen emotions and doesnt let you wipe out the flooding within.
But then all is well that ends well.

Cheerio folks will be forcing myself to update again sometime sooner.

اقبال کا مومن

2010-08-21T04:28:00.001+05:00

خدا کی قسم لعنت ہے ہم پر، ہم تو مسلمان ہونے کی ہر حد کو پار کر چکے ہیں، صرف مسلمان کا ٹھپّا اپنے گریبان پر لگائےگھومتے ہیں، کہنے کو تو ہم شرفا ہیں، تعلیم یافتہ ہیں، ملنسار ہیں، اور کبھی کبھار تو اپنے آپکو کو مومن کہنے سے بھی گریز نہیں کرتے، مگر قسم خدا کی ہم لوگ انسان کہلانے کےلائق بہ نہیں ہیں. رونہ آتا ہے مجھے اپنے آپ پر اور اپنے ملک پر اور اس میں بسنے والے لوگوں پر ہم تو بہت پیر ہیں، اولیاء کےشاگرد ہیں، سینوں میں قرآن لیے پھرتے ہیں، عقیدت مند، سعادت مند مسلمان ہیں، مگر میں کہتی ہوں لعنت ہے اگر ہم اپنےآپ کو یہ سب دیکھنے کے باوجود مسلمان کہتے ہیں تو. کس نے کہہ دیا کے ہم مسلمان ہیں، کیا مسلمان جھوٹ بولتا ہے؟ کیا وہ کسی کا قتل کرتا ہے؟ کیا غبن کرتا ہے؟ کیا حق تلفی کرنے والا مسلمان ہے؟ جواب دو؟ اور یہ تو سب صغریٰ گناہ ہیں بس اسکی رسی دراز کرتے جاؤ اور الله کےعذاب کا شکار بن جاؤ. شرم کرو میں کہتی ہوں اب بھی کچھ باقی ہے تو تھوڑی شرم ہی کرلو ذرّہ برابر بھی جو تم میں الله کا خوف رہ گیا ہو اے انسان ذرّہ برابرہی صحیح . تم نے تو خدا کو صرف سحری اور افطار کی نشریات تک ہی قید کردیا ہے، روز وہی سوال، وہی جواب، وہی شقوق وہی شبہات، پیدائش سےمسلمان ہو اور بچپن سے نہ صحیح تو جوانی سے روزے تو رکھ ہی رہے ہو، بچپن سےنہ صحیح مگر تیسری جماعت سے تو اسلامیات پڑھ ہی رہے ہو نہ، تب بھی وہی مسئلے ہیں ہمارے بیچ میں، ہم کیا اب تک اپنے دین کے میناروں کو ہی نہیں سمجھ سکے. عالم و فاضل و قاری و مبتدعی کہنےکو تو ہم سب کچھ ہیں مگر حقیقت میں کچھ بھی نہیں

ہم تو ان جانوروں سے بھی بدتر ہیں جو کم از کم انسان کے مر جانے کا تو انتظار کرتا ہے، مگر ہم تو زندہ لوگوں کا گوشت نوچ کر کھا لیتے ہیں. اے مسلمان تیرے کیا کہنے.تجھ سے تبصرے کروا لو، جھوٹ بلوا لو، قسمیں اٹھوا لو، سب کچھ کروا لو مگر صرف سچ، ایمانداری اور حقیقت سے کبھی نظرین نہ ملوانا، مگر یہ بھی ہماری خوش فہمی ہے, اب تو وہ زمانہ بھی گیا جب شرم دلانے سے تجھے تھوڑی شرم آجاتی تھی، اب تو چلّو بھر پانی میں بھی کیا سیلاب کے پانی میں بھی ڈوبکی لگا کر تو زندہ ہی باہر آجائے گا اورسنائے گا کہ الله کا تجھ پر خاص کرم تھا, تو مومن ہے اسی لیہ بچ گیا. افسوس تجھ پر از حد افسوس.

مت رو کے یہ سب کیا ہورہا ہے؟ کیوں ہورہا ہے؟ ہماری مدد کیوں کر کوئی نہیں کر رہا؟ ہم مظلوم، ہم لاچار، ہم پر ظلم ہورہا ہے، ہمارا حکمران بدکردار ہے، بےحس ہے، ارے سب سے بڑا بےحس تو تو خود ہے نہ مراد، اس کو ڈھونڈ کر کروڑوں ووٹ ڈال کر لانے والا تو خود ہے،پھر کہاں کا رونہ اور کہاں کا شکوہ کرنا، جس قدر ہم خود گنہگار ہیں یہ سب ہماری ہی کراماتوں کا نتیجہ ہے کسی اور کی نہیں. کسی امریکا نے پانی کے نلکے نہیں کھولے اور انڈیا کےدریا اتنا فالتو پانی نہیں لےکربیٹھے ہوئےجو ہمارے اوپر نچھاور کرتے پھریں، ہوش کر ذرا سی ہوش کر اے مسلمان، غور کر کے میں پاکستانی کہنے کے بجائےمسلمان ہونے پر زور کیوں دی رہی ہوں وہ اس لیہ کے پاکستانی ہونے کا حق تو ہم کافی پہلے ہی پیچھے چھوڑ چکے ہیں جب ہمارے بچوں کو اس ملک میں گندگی اور مچھر زیادہ نظرآنے لگے تھے ، رہا اپنے آپ کو مسلمان کہنے کا زعم تو وہ بھی بس ایک من گھڑت قصّہ لگتا ہے.

حیرت ہے مجھے اس شخص پر جو دو مظلوم لوگوں کو مار کر بھی اپنے آپ کو ڈھٹائی سےمسلمان کہہ رہا ہے، آفرین ہے تجھ پر آفرین ہے، اور آفرین ہے ان تمام لوگوں پر جنہوں نے وہاں اس بازار میں کھڑے ہوکر تماشا دیکھا، ان لوگوں پر جنہوں نے اس تماشے کی تصویرین اتاریں اور ان کو اپنے اپنے ڈبّوں میں قید کر کے اپنے شاہی دفتروں کی طرف افسوس کرتے ہوئے چل دیے ، اور سب سے زیادہ آفرین تو ان قانون کے رکھ والوں پر جنہوں نے اپنے کاندھوں پر سے ستارے فرش پر اڑا کر اس سارے تماشے کا کلائمیکس دیکھا. میں تو کہتی ہوں خدا تو آپ لوگ ہیں، اے بندائے ِ قوت ِ جہاں تجھے میرا سلام، تجھ جیسے بڑے دل والا اور کوئی نہیں، تجھے کسی کا خوف نہیں، کسی کا ڈر نہیں تجھے میرا سلام عرض ہو.

کیا ہی منظرہو گر تجھے بھی بیچ چوک میں لا کر ایسے ہی مارا جائے، کیا لگتا ہے تب تیری طاقت تیرے کام آئے گی؟ کیا لگتا ہے اگر اس جہاں میں نہیں تو روز ِ حشر اگر تیرے ساتھ یہ سلوک کیا جائےاور اس وقت تیری جگہ ڈنڈائے انصاف الله کے ہاتھ میں ہو تو تجھے کیا لگتا ہے وہ پولیس کے افسر تجھے بچا لیں گا؟ وہ دن جس دن موت کو ہی سلا دیا جائے گا، کیا تجھے وقت پر موت آجائے گی؟ اور اگر تیری ادھ مؤی لاش کو قربلا کے اس میدان میں سارے جہاں کے سامنے اسی طرح لٹکا دیا جائے اور ایک ایک بندے سے کہا جائے کے آکر ذرہ اسکا حساب تو کرو، تو تجھے کیا لگتا ہے تجھے موت آجائے گی؟ وہاں تو کوئی تیری چیخ سننے والا نہیں ہوگا، بس سب عبرت لینے والے ہونگے، مگر عبرت بھی کیسے, عبرت لینے کا وقت تو نکل چکا ہوگا، عبرت تو اس واقعے سے لینی چاہیے جو کچھ دن پہلے سیالکوٹ میں ہوا، جب دو معصوم بھائیوں کو بیچ چوراہے پر لا کر ان پر ڈاکو ہونے کا الزام تھونپ کر ان پر ڈنڈے برسائے گئے، اور اتنی بار برسائے گئے کہ وہ مظلوم اسی موقعے پر دم توڑ گئے. انکی شرافت کی گواہی دینے والوں کو دھکیل کر تماشبینوں سے دور پھینک دیا گیا، قانون کے پاسداروں نے تماشبینوں کو گھیر کر تماشے کی حدّت کو اور گرما دیا، کی جو کر رہے ہو بے خوف ہو کر کرو ہم تمھارے قانونی خدا تمھارے ساتھ ہیں، اور رونگٹے کھڑے کردینے والا منظر یہ کہ انکی ادھ مؤی نعشوں کو الٹا لٹکا کر انکی حرمت کی پاسداری بھی نہ کی گئی، آفرین ہے اے انسان، اے مسلمان تجھ پر آفرین ہے. میرے تو حواس ہی نہیں کہ میں اُس گھر کہ منظر کا سوچ سکوں جہاں انکے دو جوان حافظ قرآن بیٹون کی نعشیں پوھنچائی گئی ہونگی، اس باپ کا سر کیسے جھکا ہوگا، جب اُس نے اپنے حافظ قرآن بیٹوں کی میتوں کو کندھا دیا ہوگا اور لوگ یہ کہہ رہے ہونگے دیکھو ڈاکوؤں کا باپ جا رہا ہے . الله تُو ہی بہتر جاننے والا ہے یہ عبرت کا مقام کس کے لیے ہے یا رب آلمین یہ عبرت کا مقام کس کے لیے ہے اور کیوں ہم یہ کہتے ہوئے نظرآتے ہیں کہ بس جی الله کا عذاب ہے ہم پر الله کا عذاب ہے، اے انسان الله اتنا بھی ظالم نہیں کہ مظلوموں پر بنا کسی گناہ کے قہر ڈھاتا رہے، اے مسلمان بس اک بار ذرا اپنا گرہبان جھانک کر تو دیکھ تجھے کیا نظر اتا ہے؟

الله اکبر اے انسان تیرا کوئی حال نہیں ، تو ہی طاقتور ہے تو ہی انصاف پرست ہے، تو نہ جھوٹا ہے، نہ مکّار ہے، نہ غدّار ہے تو تو خدا ہے، ہر فیصلے سے بے خوف اپنی آنا کا خدا ہے تو. کیا کبھی تنہا راتوں کو یہ سب سوچ کر بھی خوف نہیں آتا؟ یہ سوچ کر خوف نہیں آتا کہ اک دن منوں مٹی تلے ہم نے بھی دفن ہونا ہے، یہ سوچنا کے فرشتے جب اپنے سوالوں کا پٹارا کُھلینگے تو تب کہاں اپنا منہ چھپاتا پھریگا، الله سے بچ کر کہاں جانا ہے اے مسلمان الله سے بچ کر کہاں جانا ہے، اپنے گناہوں کے بوجھ تلے سب نے دھنس جانا ہے، کوئی بچانے والا نہیں ہوگا، کوئی پکار سننے والا نہیں ہوگا، کوئی عرضی لینے والا نہیں ہوگا، ہر کام شفاف طریقے سے ہوگا، ہر حساب بے نقص ہوگا.

اقبال کو اپنے مومن پر بڑا ناز تھا، اے اقبال تو نے تو مومن کو وہ بیان کیا جو وہ کبھی تھا ہی نہیں ، نہ اسکی گفتار میں حقیقت ہے اور نہ اسکے کردار میں کوئی شان. جن چار عناصر سے تو نےمومن کو بنتا دیکھا وہ سب الله نے اپنے پاس سمبھال لئے ہیں کہ اب مومن صرف مسلمان ہے، نہ اسکے آگے کچھ اور نہ اسکے پیچھے کچھ، وہ پیدا ہوتا ہے، کانون میں ازان دی جاتی ہے اور مبارک ہو اس دنیا میں ایک اور مسلمان کا اضافہ. اقبال کی سوچ کے مومن اب چراغ لے کر ڈھونڈنے سے بھی نہیں ملتے، مومن تو کیا اے اقبال اب تو مسلمان بھی کہیں ڈھونڈنےسے نہیں ملتے

شکریہ پاکستان

2010-08-14T17:13:00.001+05:00

نہیں نہ امید اقبال اپنی کشتِ ویراں سے

ذرا نم ہو تو یہ مٹی بڑی زرخیز ہے ساقی

اقبال نے کہا اور کیا خوب کہا, ہزاروں مسلمانوں کی بے پناہ قربانیوں, ان کے لحو کی خوشبو سے رچی ہے یہ مٹی۔ ذرا نم کرو تو یہ دھرتی ان قربانیوں کا صلہ دینے لگتی ہے۔ مگر اب اس دھرتی نے بھی ہار مان لی ہے۔ مسلسل صلہ دیتے دیتے وہ ہمت ہار چکی ہے. سالوں سے بوئے ہوئے بیج کا پھل کب تک کاٹو گے۔ ذرا سوچو پیدائش سے لے کر اب تک اپنی اس سنہری دھرتی کو دیا کیا ہے؟ اپنی محنت سے اپنے لحو سے کبھی اس مٹی کو ذرخیز کیا ہے؟ تمھارے اگلے آنے والے سوال سے بھی باخوبی واقف ہوں۔ کہ جتنا لحو اب برس رہا ہے اس کا مقابلہ بھلا آزادی کی قربانی سے کیوں کر کریں۔ مگر میرے دل میں تو بس ایک ہی بات بسی ہےکہ کہاں وہ حق پرستوں کی اپنی آزادی ِ فکر کی جنگ اور کہاں آج کے حکمرانوں کی اپنی مضبوطی ِ اقتدار کے لئے جنگ۔ ذرا غور کر اے نوجواں, تو بڑا واضح فرق رکھا ہے دونوں میں. تو سارا دن بیٹھ کر اس سوچ میں لمحے گزار دیتا ہے کہ کاش کچھ ایسا ہو جائے پاکستان راتوں رات امریکہ بن جائے۔ کبھی اس بات پر بھی غور کر لیا کر کہ امریکیوں کو امریکہ بنانے کے لیے کتنی محنت اور بھاری سرمایکاری کرنی پڑھتی ہے۔ مگر تم کیا جانوتم تو پیدائش سے ہی سونے کے چمچے سے سونے کا نوالہ لینے والوں میں سے ہو. جس پنچھی نے کبھی قید دیکھی ہی نہ ہو اس کو کیا علم آزادی کس جام کا نام ہے۔ پوچھنا ہی ہے تو کسی کشمیری سے پوچھو آزادی کس گل کا نام ہے۔ کسی فلسطینی سے پوچھو آزادی سورج کی کس کرن کو کہتے ہیں۔ تم تو بس اس ٣٠ انچ کے ڈبےکو صبح شام تکتے رهتے ہو, جو اس پر سے سن لیا وہی حقیقت ہے، جو کچھ دیکھا وہ سب سے بڑا سچ ہے. نہ خود کسی چیز کو جاننے کی کوشش کی اور نہ سمجھنے کی، اور نہ ہی آگے کوئی ارادہ مطلوب لگتا ہے

موجودہ دور ِ حکومت کے نقص گنوانے ہوں تو صف میں سب سے آگے آپکو پایا جاتا ہے. بھلے مانس اگر جعلی ڈگری کے مرتکب ہیں تو کیا ہوا، رشوت لیتے ہیں تو کونسی بڑی بات ہے، اقربا پروری کے حامی ہیں تو کونسا بڑا گناہ کر دیا. ووٹ ڈال کر جس گناہ کا ارتکاب آپنے کیا ہے اور جو بیج آپنے بویا ہے، اس کا پھل تو اب کاٹنا ہی پڑے گا

میری تو اپنے آپ سے, سب سے, بس یہی التجاہ ہے کہ محنت نہیں کرسکتے نہ کرو، مدد نہیں کرسکتے نہ کرو، اس مٹی کو اپنے پسینے سے نم نہیں کرسکتے, نہ کرو مگر اے اس وطن کے باسیوں صرف ایک بار دل سے اس ملک کو اپنا تو مانو. چھوڑو باہر کے ملکوں کو وہاں کیا رکھا ہے، وہاں اُس دیس میں ایسی خوشبو کہاں. ایسی زرخیزی کہاں، ایسی الفت کہاں، ایسی چاہت کہاں- زندگی بھر لگا دو گے باہر, مگر پلٹ کر آنا تو اپنے لئے منوں مٹی ڈھونڈنے یہیں ہینا، تب کس منہ سے اسکو اپنا کہوگے، کس حق سے اسے اسکا فرض یاد دلاؤ گے

کچھ نہ کر سکو تو اک بار اسکو یہی که دو, اے میری دھرتی میری وارث تجھے میرا سلام

شکریہ پاکستان

Ermmmmm. Im Sorry =/

2010-08-12T05:46:00.003+05:00

I dont have words to describe WHY I havent been updating my blog, especially the novel I had been hooked up to doesnt seem to be moving any further. I had been working on the story for a while, and I ended up adding stuff and polishing the entire story, to make it more NOVEL like. I came across plenty of bloopers I had to overcome, and new scenes in the episodes already written. So Ill most probably be editing the Previous entries as well, once Im done with the Novel.
Another reason WHY I haven't been editing is the Extra work Im hooked up with, a National Campaign on Social Networks like Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, infact everywhere you get a chance to show yourself in the form of Images. Its called "Go Green Pakistan". A reason to Unite before 14th of August, turning your timelines, friend lists, every possible thing Green :)
If you feel like turning green then let us know at greenkaro@gmail.com or fill up the form here.

Happy Blessed Month of Ramadan Everyone :)

2010-07-12T21:00:00.003+05:00

Why do at times, the hardest thing in your entire life seems to be Connecting with your Self?

Sweet Dreams..

2010-07-12T01:03:00.002+05:00

Sometimes the Emptiness kind of prevails within you. There are times when you feel, you have seriously TAKEN over that emptiness within you. But it's not truly Victory its Hallucination I guess. A kind of sweet dream when you feel you have finally brought light to your life, but the things, the situations, the people, the weather, EVERYTHING at times, bring you back to the same room, where You & Your Emptiness spent hours in Harmony!

Epidemic Videos

2010-06-19T17:25:00.001+05:00

Ok there is a trend named now as Epidemic/Viral Videos, where a specific video becomes the headlines of all social networking profiles.... Its been for like a week that this specific one video has been there on my nerves in a 100+ forms. Her Morning Elegance by Oran Lavie. A great video and a great concept. The best point about the video is that, apart from the character on the Bed, nothing seems to be moving, not even the sunrays on the bed. This is a real HARD Work. Coz for all the parodies that I saw, they were successful in creating the character but failed to keep the environment stable. Im sharing the video by Oran Lavie and than another video of Uzair Jaswal - So ja. To show how Pakistanis attempted this video. Though the story line of both the videos are different but the techniques are the same.

PS: Im not at all an Uzair Jaswal fan, Im just sharing the video to compare the techniques.

Yippie

2010-06-17T03:04:00.000+05:00

Ok the recent post in my blogroll just gave me jitters. And this lousy internet connection was about to give me electrical shocks when it took a record breaking 15 mins time to open up a light weight blog page =/. Connections can be really pathetic at times :P
The good news is I WON the One-Sentence Story Competition hosted at M.M's blog more than a week ago. I seriously wasn't expecting this at all. I never really submitted anything in such competitions, afraid of the fact that my work would look all kiddish infront of the great pieces people come up with. But this one made my day.
ahhhhhh will surely have a good night sleep now InshAllah :D

You can drop by her blog or follow the link HERE, to check the other remarkable entries as well :)

You took him Away!

2010-06-16T02:16:00.006+05:00

Sitting alone in the exact corner, where once I used to sit and look at you for hours. I still see the same enormity within you. Nothing has changed. You seem to be as deep and as bewildered as you used to be before. Having no sympathy for those who sit there in those dark corners looking at you and beating the feel to drown within. It seems so alluring to them to just keep on walking towards You, deeper and deeper into you.

Sitting here I can still see the rocks lying there half dry and half wet. You never want anyone to be complete dont you, except for yourself. You feel only you have the right to be complete, to be strong, to be powerful. You never give up your strength for anyone dont you. Not even for me. For I have given you my love. As You took him IN without even looking back at Me. Not listening to my crumbled moans, when I sat there for weeks, looking back at you, with eyes filled with tears, anguish, rage and envy. Just pretending sitting in that corner with my eyes fixed right at you, waiting for that moment when you will give me back my Love, but you didnt. You took him away from me Forever. You just loved looking at me all lost and gone astray. You loved looking at me didnt you, you loved to have me there every day and every night, sitting there looking at you when you kissed the soil with an intensity that drove shivers down my body. And as the days passed and the dawn of a new day broke you craved to see me, you longed for me. I became your prey, the one you will do anything for. For all you wanted was to take me within, to be complete. But I wasnt a fool. I came each day just to tell you, you can never be complete, indeed you took my love away but I will never let myself fall for your prey, I come here for my Love and I still will. But I will make you long for your desire as you made me for my Love.

I will never want you to be complete, I will never fall for your strength. I will Never let you WIN.

update update update update update update update update

2010-06-15T12:55:00.002+05:00

alryt alryt this is ENUF, I have had it from me. I can't be any lazier than THIS. But Im *sigh*. LORD! I can be so pathetic at times. Im turning to a couch potato or rather a potato with a laptop attached to it :S
Its been months we have shifted back to Pakistan and saddeningly half of the entire packed stuff was loaded in my room, and I was BAY-ROOM (without a room) for like around 4 months now. Finally we decided to take out all the stuff re-arrange it so that it fits into ONE room, and I get to have my room back :). Its been a tiring effort of about 8 hours that we finally managed to THOSOFY all the stuff in one room leaving behind a few suitcases in my room, which I will eventually stick back into that room so that there isnt a needle left in my room :P Now I have to assemble my PC Table, get a PC, get a Bed, a dresser would be optional (I can literally live without a dresser :P ) and a few other optional items for my room. But first off I still have to clear up alot of Mess that is hanging around in my room *sigh* and here Im sitting and planning stuff that I should Do rather doing it in reality =/ couch potatao!

I HATE you Satan ...

2010-06-12T13:27:00.003+05:00

Errrrrrr ....... I so HATE it when I miss my Fajar Salah =(, and today what happened just blew my head off. I always feel guilty the ENTIRE day when I miss my prayers (especially Fajar). I usually keep my alarm 10-15 mins after the Azaan, This morning I heard the entire Azaan alhumduliAllah ( half in sleep though), went straight to the bathroom, and it is where the Satan found it's prey =/ He silently whispered it in my ear and it straight went up to my head. " YOU still have 15 minutes till your Alarm rings". And Voila! I went out and got straight into my bed :(. Then when did the Alarm ring I have NO idea :(. That jerk woke me up at around 6:00 to show me his victory, when I saw the strong rays filling up my room and got disgusted at myself, this is no doubt the MOST disgusting part seriously!
CURSE YOU SATAN ....... :@
I still keep on thinking when Satan was feeding all this to me where the hell was my goody goody angel sleeping, you know the one in the cartoons, when TOM is usually planning something bad about jerry and PUFF come the angels. Where was my angel when I needed Him. =/

PS: OK the last paragraph was just a kiddish thought =P

Daam

2010-06-10T15:37:00.010+05:00

Kyun kho gaye woh lamhay,
Kahan kho gaye woh lamhay?
Rishtoun ky woh silsilay,
Kahan kho gaye woh lamhay,

Zara sa socho ge ruk ky agr tum,
Ja na paogi mjhsy alag tum,
Lambi dopherun mai pairoun ke chaon kia bhool paogi tum?

Jhoot hai sabhi sacha kuch nahe,
Dhooka ya daam tha,
Na jana tmhain na samjha tmhain,
Dhooka ya daam tha,
Naata na tha rishta na tha,
Khuwab tha... toot gaya,
Pagal ho tum choro zid yeh,
Khuwab tha... toot gaya,

Rastay alag manzil juda phr rona kia.

hmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Aeitbar tha jo ikhtiyar tha,
Dhooka ya Daam tha,
Bohol mai gae yaad kuch nahe,
Dhoka ya daam tha,
Naata na tha rishta na tha,
Khuwab tha... toot gaya,
Pagal ho tum choro zid yeh,
Khuwab tha... toot gaya

Rastay alag manzil jhuda phr rona kia.

Kyun kho gaye woh lamhay,
Kahan kho gaye woh lamhay?
Rishtoun ky woh silsilay,
Kahan kho gaye woh lamhay?

Zara sa socho ge ruk ky agr tum,
Ja na paogi mjhsy alag tum,
Lambi dopherun mai pairoun ke chaon kia bhool paogi tum?

PS: An Amazing effort by Zeb & Haniya

Tale of Embarrassments..

2010-06-06T23:27:00.007+05:00

Alright so sometimes these KESC breaks bring out the worst things in you but it also brings out the most funniest =P a few days ago the power went off eggjactly at 11:30 at night. Lying down having nothing to do, I just closed my eyes and started drifting where ever my mind and thoughts took me to. After wandering here and there (like puranay gali mahalloun kay chakkar lagaye do chaar) I started having the most funniest collage of my yesteryears. And to top it off all of them were embarrassing, like my mind was in a mood to show me a whole film of the most embarrassing moments in my life till present =/ It turned out I planned to post some of em here too =P They r in NO specific order.

Embarrassing Situation 1
===================
Picture: Im talking over the phone with my sister, having no idea at all where the rest of the family members are, rather thats usually not my concern when im over the phone with my sister we just talk and talk and talk NON STOP. So just a while ago my mom and dad just came from outside. And Mom just told me about what had happened on their way to the bank. Now my dad being a left hand driver for over 27 years MashAllah have a little trouble driving on the right hand side of the road (but that certainly doesnt include him NOT seeing a RED light) but because it was 12pm, the sun always tricks you in seeing the wrong thing =P and my Dad mistakenly jumped over a red light and got followed by a police patrol, now he also has issues with parking and pulling over makes him just like a fuming dragon when such a thing happens, bus its just like you have to look closer to visualize it. HAH! So as for our beloved Police my dad knew what to do (keeping in mind my dad doesnt have a pakistani licesnse yet and Lord knows when he decides to get one =P) he knew ke PAISA KAAM AYEGA [money will do the trick] he asked for what he wanted and he dropped his demand for 300rs. Shucks my dad didnt have any change in his pocket so he had to give 500rs instead of 300 (one lucky chap he was =P) and finally Allah Allah krkay they got back home. So my Mom hurriedly narrated this whole tale to me in mere 5 mins and ran to the kitchen, not knowing that my Dad is standing just behind me and he overheard what I said next. I narrated my Mum's story to my sis something like dis:

"Han Abba jee nay tora haina aaj Signal aur diye hain Tullay ko panch so rupees[ in a sort of ranting tone]", amidst this line I heard my Abba Jee saying " Kia bachun wali baatein kr rahe hai" to my Mom whilst I was getting that dreadful stare from my Mom when I should realize that I should better off keep my tongue inside my mouth than out =/

Embarrassed? NO! rather I should say Clean Bowled =/

Embarrassing Situation 2
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This dates back quite a few years ago when IT Xpo used to be a HYPE =P, I remember visiting that Xpo just once in my life (keeping in mind what had happened before I refused to visit that place ever again) Roaming around checking amazing Gadgets of that time, having no specific knowledge about any (being quite young at that time) My Khala was deciding to upgrade her machine at that time, we casually paused at a stall for a while and just as we were about to leave a STUPID, jack-ass sales man started off giving his speech explaining his SEXY ITEM [ P3 at that time] looking at our direction so as of courtesy we decided to stand for a while and listen to his backwas. Once he finished off his speech and landed his fleet he asked as a reference which machine were we exactly using, and ME being a small stupid kid the one who blurts out stuff without even thinking just once said, rather shouted that we owned a Pentium Celeron (HECK NO! I dont own one I have a P3 already at my place back home I was speaking up on behalf of my Khala =/) that was it that Jack-Ass SM went all "Oh SHIT!" over what I said and the crowd that surrounded that stall couldnt stop laughing =/ We had no choice but to leave the stall with our heads down and that too just because of me =(

Embarrasing Situation 3
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Scene: I was due to meet my Chem teacher by the end of my Phy lecture while my Chem teacher was busy having a class of grade 8th girls. Now I knocked at the door and entered the class at her signal [me being a senior at that time got all kind of stares from those girls] I just dont remember clearly what kind of conversation went off at that time as I only remember the embarrassing bit of it. We were just talking talking when the bell rang and I went saying her something like: "Teacher Aap Over Hogaen?" now that sounded ZO-MAINE [something having a double meaning] except me the rest of the people in that class took it as "teacher app over hogaen as in over-acting wala OVER" =/ but what I actually meant was she got free from that specific class at the moment =/ and eventually again I had to leave the class without clearing my point.

Embarrassing Situation 4
===================
This particular incident happened when I was in grade 7th as far as i remember. One of our aunties from the compound visited school during break time and I went off to greet her and inquire her about her visit, of which she replied she had come to meet her daughter which was a year senior to me. So I just went off after a 5 min conversation. After a few games here and there I spotted aunty waving me and calling me out for something. When I finally reached there she handed over something to me. On looking into my hand I found there were a few riyals, now me the stupid being thought that they were for me (like aunty giving me a small treat out of courtesy) and as a namesake I went all "Thanks Aunty but iski koe zaroorat nahe the" and that sweet aunty went all "Nahe yeh tmharay liye nahe hain kaheen Sara nazar aye tou ussay day dena" hitting a heavy slap on my face with her words =/ aunty agr 5 riyal day be daite tu jaan nikal jani the kia apki kam az kam mai embrrass tou na hoti na =( GOSH!

Embarrassing Situation 5
===================
Scene: Me chasing my friend around the girls wing corridor for a game of bhagam bhaag =P.
As I was just about to grab my friends collar I over sped across the half high corridor and twisted my ankle in a way that I didnt break it rather I landed on the ground with a loud thud, it sounded more like as if i cracked my skull. As I lay on the ground with my face wrapped up by my hands it felt like pin drop silence at the moment [ amazingly I crashed really hard on the floor and I didnt get hurt at all]. The friend I was chasing had started getting fits that Im long gone by now and she will be declared as my murderer. But in reality with such a loud bang I was so embarrassed that I wasnt even able to move a single bone. But regarding my friends constant plead I had to get up and I did that with a huge grin on my face so that everyone takes it lightly and forget it like a joke =/

These were it till finally I heard the beep indicating me to start jumping with joy as LIGHT AGAE hai =P. As these situations might seem funny at the moment but HELL YEAH they were embarrassing enough to give me nightmares at that time =(

PS: as a check Im having a poll on my blog for about 2 weeks just to know which one of these seemed the most embarrassing to my readers =P do cast ur vote even if u dont comment =P

Nibha na Paen!

2010-06-05T03:00:00.004+05:00

Loving this song in every bit and mode, either Live, rough or in whatever form it is. You only get such masterpieces every once a while.

Bilal Khan
Bachana.

PS: the post title has nothing to do with the Song ....

Painfully

2010-06-04T01:22:00.006+05:00

Why do someday you miss someone your not meant to with a painful intensity that punches straight in your heart...

Crazy as it sounds.... I really cant imagine what exactly do I miss that much, the wind that blew, the air I took, or the heart that I broke. I wasnt ever meant to be a Life Saver.

Drowning down deep deep down in the ocean of my own reality, where the water is no blue but black, where no life can be seen, and no sound can be heard. All I can see, feel, hear, and think of is Me. Why do I had to be so self-obsessed!

When you ask me for the Truth,
I say no Words,

When you ask me for that Feel,
I say I have None,

When you ask for me that Touch,
I say I turned it all to dust,

When you ask me for those Laughs,
I say I had lost them all,

When you ask me for those Stares,
I say Im all blind,

When you ask me for those Memories,
I say I burnt it all behind,

When you ask me for that Love,
I say I sold my heart away,

When you ask Me of Me,
Silence was all that I could say.

Sincerely Yours!

Damn ME!

2010-05-24T02:11:00.001+05:00

Yes this is a small post (coz of the dying mobile battery) that u jst write to curse ur Ownself. I the hoshyaar, chalaak, samajhdaar one broke my laptop 2 days ago n it seems the end of the world to me =( its in the ICU n duno if it vl recover or not =/ n bake raha sawaal nae netbook ya notebook ka tou filhaal koe scene nazaar nae araha =( hve 2 consult sawj in this matter, thn il b posting my new relationship status soon ;)
til thn hospital ky chakkar lagany paraingy =/
prayers needed!

BLOG!

2010-05-19T12:02:00.001+05:00

Why on earth M I not BLOGGING! *sigh*

Happy Birthday Goli Moli

2010-05-10T23:51:00.002+05:00

I just want to wish you the bestest Birthday EVER!. May Allah always keeps you happy and healthy and gives you prosperity in your new relationship InshAllah Ameen.

May Allah Subhan wa Tallah blesses you with his greatest Blessings ameen sum ameen =D

Love,
Choli Moli =P

Switching Places

2010-05-06T23:49:00.003+05:00

Its time to switch places from here to another blog I just fallen in love with =P. I have shifted to this blog here just 2 days ago and Im kind of loving it. Im not writing over there but busy posting pictures that I take from time to time .... seeing a few fellow bloggers busy posting their artistic captures kind of urged me to do the same ;) So it doesn't at all mean that Im going to forget u in anyway O Beloved! You will always be my first LOVE =) will keep on loving you from time to time, but for now I have to keep her UPDATED for while, you know Fresh Love ;)

Bloggers who follow me here it's a request do drop by and try and appreciate my work there as well =P

PS: this was the 200th post for my lovely lady over here :-*

License to Kill

2010-05-05T20:30:00.005+05:00

Seriously is there any place that can issue me a License that allows you to KILL all those JERKS that are roaming around freely in this world pretending to be the Normal one's. If yes than please let me get one (coz I dont want to go around killing people against the law).

There are a list of people I sooo want to kill before I eventually kill MYSELF.

First of is the Founder of GEO Network

' GETAFREAKINLIFE '

A Man with a Hidden Identity =P
Our Splendid Governor of Punjab Mr.Salman Taseer

This is my current Kill List, and Im surely working out things that can make me come closer to my license, I wish there was an Angelina Julie in my life who would come up to me someday and tell me that Im the successor of a great Assassin. Imagine all that thrill *sighs* =(

P.S: the list is not finalized yet, do drop by for new entries later in life =P

Happy Birthday!

2010-05-05T14:01:00.003+05:00

Dear Baba Jani,
At first I thought to wish you Happy Birthday in all the languages that I could find through the internet, but than I said to myself that saying words in a language that neither I nor u could understand wouldnt have the feel that I want to give away. Planning a surprise for you was sooooo exciting, you not knowing what is going on outside the room, and why the hell is your constant request for fresh lime is being rejected by Mama =P, you see that was all part of the plan. Telling you we are going to the tailor and than hiding this master piece under the dupatta just so you wouldn't notice was HILARIOUS ;)
Your the best Baba Jani a girl can ever imagine (MashAllah), you have never stopped us from doing anything, or from following our dreams, you didn't place any rules or laws for WHAT you want from us in Life. You were just there for us whenever we needed you, helping us get through all those times when a kid feels it's the end of her world. You had been, you are and InshAllah you will be the BEST Baba Jani in this world =D
May Allah bless you with health, respect, peace and strength through out your life, and may your hand remains on us for all the coming years InshAllah ameen sum ameen =)

Happy Birth Day Baba Jani!

Love,
Shanooo :-*

Exactly which part of the Planet are you From ?

2010-05-02T17:15:00.006+05:00

It was just a few months ago when I was living peacefully in my tree-house back in the jungle, I wasn't worried about any darn thing before, like Im used to now. Life in Jungle is so subtle and at ease. Nobody dares to poke their noses in somebody else's life. The cheetah didn't bother WHY the elephant spent 16hours of his day eating and the rest sleeping. Neither did the Hippo get jealous of the deer for being so smart and sweet. Infact nobody really cared what the other was doing. And there I was spending my life in utmost pleasure, I didn't have to spend time thinking if I really had to fit myself anywhere in this jungle, until now when I decided to shift from the mellow jungle life to the scary tip-top life of the suburbs.
I tell you life here isn't as easy as it seems, and 99.9% of my time is spend thinking ' Where the hell have I gone wrong that Im getting all those stares'. Its like as if a Kid has just broken Mommy's precious little crystal piece and that poor thing keeps on thinking in his mind Where did I go wrong Mommy =( Sometimes it seems like Im just a miss-fit in this world filled with PERFECT people. Every other man on this planet is simply Perfect/Flawless you see like Picture-Perfect. Parents make your Parents believe that nobody on this Whole planet can have kids like them, they are obedient, they are well-educated, they have got the perfect job and the perfect spouses, all in all they are the Perfect family.
Living a life in the jungle for years like a nomad, and then trying to fit yourself in a Picture-Perfect life like those living in the suburbs isn't EASY, rather it simply isn't possible if u ask me. I tried to fit IN but all this time it feels Im not made for this life, the situation gets out of hand, and surprisingly the ball never comes in my side of the court. As I have spend time thinking I have examined a minute similarity in the lives of all these suburbanites, they really don't let you INSIDE their shell, they never let you feel the way they live their lives, in words you cant step into their shoes and see how life looks from their perspective. Its like your licking an Ice-Lolly without tasting what is in between, exactly how will u explain life to someone if u DON'T let them see how u see it. Its all cliched now, this topic is not new , and its not like I have stirred a new wave in this stagnant pool of Perfect people, life is just same here for each and every person. And I just don't want to live that SAME life as they have been living for years, decades, centuries bla bla.. If I cant manage to fit IN than damn you I wont, I will live my own life like back in the jungle, where I had the authority of my own life and no one else. Nobody can be the 'Jungle Queen' other than me =P

P.S: Today I have spent my precious little napping time staring in my veranda just so I can catch those brats who broke the window for the 4th time in 2 months =@. The ball came inside the house and they needed it badly so I was dead sure just like last time they would definitely jump in to get the ball this time as well, and to my surprise they didn't, rather unfortunate for them another of their ball came in our court =P and as for my CHALAKINESS I trapped both the balls inside the grilled portion of the veranda and 'ab unka baap bhe woh balls wahan say nahe nikal sakta' HAH!

Ay ALLAH tera shukar!

2010-05-01T00:12:00.006+05:00

You know it's like one of those days when it feels that one of your silent, most needed prayer has been heard....I was really worried about something for like weeks and I couldnt think of anyway in which i could manage something that can make the situation a little better.
It was today just after I said my salams for the Jumah prayer, said my dua and as soon as I stood up there rang the phone bell and I got to hear the good news =) Sometimes HE tend to process prayers really fast =P

Thank you Allah Mian =)

LIES all around.

2010-04-29T01:43:00.002+05:00

Why is that when you really want to live your life, nobody wants that. Why is that when you really drag yourself out of something, they drive you back into it. Why is that when you LIE to someone about something, they pretend to become Priests. Why is that you get to know your reality but when its time for them to figure out what the truth is, it all becomes a LIE. Why is that life is made like a living hell just for their own namesake.
I have spend my life all this time just by my own, nobody has been there holding up my finger and walk me down these stairs except for the Almighty who OWNS me by all means, my parents have indigenously spent hours of efforts just to make me a normal, confident, and self esteemed human being , a person who can believe in herself, who knows what she is thinking, who knows what she is seeing, and who knows when to judge someone.

coz I aint no priest,
I aint no saint,
I'm just a piece of flesh
thats just who I am. . .

I have my lies and I have my truths within, neither am I questioning those who have lied to me all this time for a dozen rather a bundle of things neither am I going to allow someone to question me for something I have said or done. I have had regrets in my life and I still do, and no matter who ever comes in my life I will carry my own piece of shit because that would be what I have done.

My life does linger on the edge of hope and despair if that is what you want to listen and that is just because I did not make the right decision at the right time.

Time Goes By...

2010-04-25T01:13:00.002+05:00

Garfield It Is ..... =D

2010-04-22T15:48:00.009+05:00

So being a Desperate cat lover (desperate as in I run after every possible cat I can get my hands on) =P My personal favourite cartoon cat character is Garfield.... Check out a few strips of his cynic life style =P

The Admission Drive..

2010-04-21T23:56:00.005+05:00

Yes Im waiting and waiting, searching, going through the newspaper everyday, surfing the internet checking out on the website, and waiting for the admissions to open and hopefully that is going to happen as soon as May starts, though enrollments in most of the universities has started but not yet in those where im waiting to apply. So all you karachiites please help me go through this period as ill be needing all sorts of advice as in where to apply, where to look for the forms and how to arrange all my documents.
Ok so now I know most of you would be laughing at the thought coz m making a fuss out of a small thing, getting an admission wouldnt be that hard, I seem to think that too but for me it is going to be a little hard, because having little or rather no information about these matters. Back there everything was based on merit you submit your result cards and wait to get a call, you successfully get a call in a week your in and if you dont your out :P but the case is always yes ;) Alryt so I know here the scene is almost the same u get the forms pay the fee, wait for the tests, try to pass them, give the interview and wait for the nerving list that could make ur life or ruin it in some cases :S So I will be needing help regarding what kinda documents should I arrange before hand.
I already have arranged all my certificates of SSC-HSSC got them attested as well and some extra stuff needed along with that. So question here is will I be needing any Domicile or something like that for the admission coz the certificates are ofcourse of Federal Board and are Issued through a foreign school? So will they place me in as a foreign student or a regular one?
Then comes the case of the Admission tests! Im applying for BS(MS) in both SZABIST and Bahria. And im picking up Journalism as a Major, but according to the current programs offered by SZABIST they kinda have changed what they were providing the previous year, so my personal preference would be getting into Bahria and the Majors over their would be Journalism and Sociology. I will be grateful if any of the current or previous SZABISTians or Bahria-ites help me out on this coz I certainly dont want to waste any more time Im f**** up at home and want to study and just work on something worthy enough and make myself a human again...bus bohat hogae yaar had hogae ab tu :(
And yes help regarding the admission test materials would be highly appreciated as im point blank as in what to look after and what to work on as I have no clue what so ever will be coming in these damn tests...seriously help me out on this for what should I be studying right now, anything specific like vocab or essay writing or anything just let me know if u ppl can :)
And in the end will be needing prayers of those who cant help me in this regard coz ur prayers will be all the help that I will need :) and yes please tell me that im taking extra tension and that it will all go on smoothly InshAllah it will surely give me a moral boost.
Adios!!

I missed Writing !!

2010-04-16T23:25:00.007+05:00

Assalmualikum all the fellow pretty and handsome bloggers :D. Back again and really will not at all describe where the hell was I for the past God knows how many days, months or year I guess, ok lemme make a calculation ;).... So it hasnt been that much tyme as much as Im bragging about it, it has been over 7 months that I havent blogged and I felt shameless as if I havent blogged for decades :S
So I have finally settled down in Pakiland alhumduliAllah, and really trying to make the necessary alterations and arrangements to cope up with the current political, environmental and social issues going around.And as all know living and adjusting in Pakistan once you have spent a long time outside of the country is a hard job, and it needs both patience and patience :P arey bhai yahan sirf yeahi cheese chahye banda ban kr rehnay ky lyeh ;)
Im glad that I have finally dropped by this platform and blogged something, chalo kuch philosophical na sahe, kuch humorous na sahe but it is something which is definitely better than nothing ^.^ and InshAllah from now on will certainly try to update my blog if not weekly but fortnightly. Missed reading Ubees depressed and senseless journals, and siras's girly chit chats and ofcourse falakk my lil sissy :D and loads of other fellow bloggers ( jinka naam nahe liya woh naraz mat hun ).
Gosh and m so pathetic that at the moment Im listening to real ridiculous songs on the fm right now :S but it matches the theme at my place right now

"So gaya yeh jahan So gaya aasma" ROFL!!

and the next one is such a disgrace that i cant even manage to type it :P hahahahaha but its the feeling of having something being played continuously into ur ears :D and finally here comes a good song :D yuppie. Kheir I better bring this post to an end coz it's getting nothing more than nonsense at the moment, You know my skills need to be brushed up a little bit its been a long tyme since I blogged :P

Will be blogging later on regarding struggles to get admission in a good uni ofcourse and the life beyond that :D

Love ya all
xoxo

Bye Bye

2009-09-23T21:42:00.006+06:00

Yes the Topic seems sad, and it is really sad for me that Im shifting back to my homeland. Going back to Pakistan isn't the saddest part but leaving everything that is behind is the real cause :(. For the one who has opened her eyes and spent her golden years of childhood, pre-teens, teens and so on in such a peaceful place, for me leaving right now is something not good :(. Have been into packing, taking out old stuff, losing old memories, and putting all my life into small and big boxes. Piling up my life in huge columns and then staring at them.
This post is just a good bye message for all my followers and readers who have been so kind to me and have spared their time in leaving comments Im really grateful to u all :). Its not that this is going to be the end of the world or something but yes big changes take alot of time to digest, and it will take its time for me too. Ill be disconnected from the internet in a few days or so, so I apologize if I may not be able to reply to all of ur comments.
May Allah bless us all and keep us all happy :)
Fe Aman Allah !

PS: Samah (if your reading this) will be completing that Award Tag once I get back with the internet and my life too ;)

عيد مبارك

2009-09-21T04:34:00.009+06:00

Eid Mubarak to everyone. Sorry couldnt wish ya all earlier have been all tied up with the Eid jiggies :P. Had a good tyme, not the best but Im blessed that I have some good people to share my good times with :) All the rituals were followed as on every Eid. The Sheer Khurma, Mehndi, Pulao Biryani and etc etc :P Had my Wallet filled with Eidis ;) as what else are Eids for, and these Eidis are for just a few more years as sooner we will be passing on Eidis instead of having em :( but not really we alhumduliAllah have our elder's shelters over our head and their Eidis ofcourse :P

On this day I would love to share it with those who really dont have the opportunity or the resources to enjoy a fun filled Eid, being far from my land I feel a bit tied up as for how to help my people when they need to be happy, but soon ill be sharing some time with the people who really need it back in my homeland :). May Allah bless our people, Our Ummah, Our Nation and its superiors who are the bearers of our Nations Image and Hopes. Ameen

PS: This is surprisingly my 200th post :) and m glad It was on Eid!

PPS: The hands in the image on the right are decorated by me :D :D

EID MUBARAK !

انتیسویں شب قدر

2009-09-18T23:50:00.005+06:00

انتیسویں شب قدر

آج خیر سے یہاں انتیسویں کی رات ہے- اور طاق راتوں کے عبادات میں سے آخری رات ہے- میری بس یہی دعا ہے کے الله ہمارے اس رمضان کے روزوں سمیت ہماری باکی عبادت بھی قبول فرمائیں آمین- آج کی خاص عبادت درجہ ذیل ہیں:

١- انتیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سی پڑھنی ہے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد ایک مرتبہ سورة القدر اور سورة الاخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ سورة الم نشرح پڑھے، یہ نفل نماز کامل ایمان کے لئے افضل ہے- انشاالله العزیز اس کو پڑھنے والے کو دنیا سے مکمل ایمان کے ساتھ اٹھایا جائے گا-

٢- انتیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد ایک مرتبہ سورة القدر اور سورة الاخلاص پانچ مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت
بعد سلام کے ١٠٠ مرتبہ درود شریف پڑھنا ہے- انشااللہ العزیز اس کے پڑھنے والے کو باری تعالی بخشش گناہ اور مغفرت عطا کریں گے آمین-

خیر سے کل یہاں چاند رات ہے، اور میری دعا تو یہی ہے کے انشااللہ انتیس ہی روزے ہوں کیونکے چاند رات کا مزہ تو اسی وقت آتا ہے جب اگلے دن عید ہو ؛)

میری طرف سے سب کو پیشگی عید مبارک :)

ستائیسویں شب قدر

2009-09-16T17:26:00.010+06:00

ستائیسویں شب قدر

ماہ رمضان میں ستائیسویں شب قدر کی بڑی ہی فضیلت ہے- اس میں رات بھر جاگ کر عبادت میں مشغول نوافل، نماز، قرآن شریف، درود شریف کثرت سے پڑھے- اس رات کی عبادت کے ثواب کا کوئی جواب ہی نہیں - اس رات پڑھے جانے والے وظائف درجہ ذیل ہیں:

١- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح بارہ رکعت نفل نماز تین سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص پندرہ مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ استغفار پڑھے- الله تعالی اس نفل نماز پڑھنے والے کو انشااللہ العزیز نبیوں کی عبادت کا ثواب دے گا-

٢- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح دو رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر تین مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص پانچ مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام کے سورة الاخلاص ستائیس مرتبہ پڑھ کر اپنے گناہوں کی مغفرت مانگے انشااللہ تعالی اس کے تمام پچھلے گناہ الله تعالی معاف کرے گا-

٣- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھنی ہے ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ سورة التکاثر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
باری تعالی اس نفل نماز پڑھنے والے پر سے موت کی سختی آسان کرے گا انشااللہ تعالی اس پر سے عذاب قبر بھی معاف ہوجائے گا-

٤- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح دو رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے، ہر نماز میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة الاخلاص سات مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ یہ تسبیح استغفار پڑھے- " استغفرالله العظیم الذی لا الہ الا ھو الحی القیوم و اتوب الیہ" ( معذرت ک ساتھ میں اس کلمے پر اعراب نہیں لگا سکی) انشااللہ العزیز اس نفل نماز کو پڑھنے والا اپنے مصّلے سے اٹھنے بھی نہ پائے گا کہ باری تعالی اس کے اور اس کے والدین کے گناہ معاف فرما کر مغفرت عطا فرمائے گا- مغفرت کے لئے یہ نماز افضل ہے-

٥- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح دو رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے، ہر رکعت سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة الم نشرح ایک مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ سورة القدر پڑھے، یہ نماز بی شمار عبادت کے ثواب کے لئے افضل ہے-

٦- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر تین مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص پچاس مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام سجدہ میں ایک مرتبہ یہ کلمات پڑھے-

٧- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح ساتوںپڑھے- یہ عذاب قبر سے نجات اور مغفرت گناہ کے لئے افضل ہے-

٨- ستائیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح سات مرتبہ سورة الملک کا پڑھنا مغفرت گناہ کے لئے نہایت فضل ہے

الله ہمیں اس رات کی فضیلت اور برکتوں سی بہرمند فرمائے آمین

پچیسویں شب قدر

2009-09-15T05:59:00.005+06:00

تیسری شب قدر

پچیسویں شب قدر کو عبادت کرنے والی راتوں میں سے ایک افضل ترین رات سمجھا جاتا ہے- جس کو لیلیٰ تل قدر کی راتوں میں زیادہ اہمیت حاصل ہے- اس رات میں پڑھے جانے والے وظائف درجہ ذیل ہیں:

١- ماہ رمضان المبارک کی پچیس تاریخ کو نمازعشاء و تراویح کے بعد چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص پانچ مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ١٠٠ مرتبہ کلمہ طیبہ پڑھنا ہے- بار گاہ رب العزت سے انشاللہ بے شمار عبادت کا ثواب ملے گا -

٢- پچیسویں شب قدر کو نمازعشاء و تراویح کے بعد چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر تین مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ استغفار پڑھے- یہ نفل بخشش گناہ کے لئے نہایت افضل ہے-

٣- - پچیسویں شب قدر کو نمازعشاء و تراویح کے بعد دو رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة الاخلاص پندرہ مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے-

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ کلمہ شہادت پڑھنا ہے، یہ نفل نماز عذاب قبر سے نجات کے لئے افضل ترین ہے-

٤- پچیسویں شب قدر کو نمازعشاء و تراویح کے بعد سات مرتبہ سورة الدخان پڑھنا افضل ترین ہے- باری تعالی اس سورة کے پڑھنے والے کو انشاللہ العزیز عذاب قبر سے محفوظ رکھینگے -

٥- پچیسویں شب قدر کو نمازعشاء و تراویح کے بعد سات مرتبہ سورة الفتح کا پڑھنا ہر مراد کے لئے افضل ترین عمل ہے

الله تعالی اس دن کی ہماری ان خاص عبادات کو قبول فرمائیں آمین -

تئیسویں شب قدر

2009-09-12T23:12:00.009+06:00

دوسری شب قدر

آج چونکہ یہاں تئیسواں روزہ ہے تو میں آپسے آج کی طاق رات کی چند خاص عبادات بانٹنا چاہوں گی

١- ماہ رمضان کی تئیسویں شب کو بعد نمازعشاء و تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة اخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے -

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ درود شریف پڑھے، مغفرت گناہ کے لئے یہ نماز بہت ہے افضل ہے-

٢- تئیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نمازعشاء و تراویح آٹھ رکعت نفل چار سلام سے پڑھنی ہے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة اخلاص ایک مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے -

فضیلت:
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ کلمہ تمجید پڑھنے اور الله تبارک تعالی سے آپنے گناہوں کی بخشش مانگے الله تعالی اس کی گناہ معاف فرما کر انشا الله مغفرت کریں گے-

٣- تئیسویں شب قدر کو بعد نمازعشاء و تراویح ایک مرتبہ سورة یٰسین اور سورة الرحمٰن کا ایک مرتبہ پڑھنا بے حد افضل ہے

الله ہم سب کو اپنے حفظ و آمان میں رکھیں انشاالله آمین

اکیسویں شب قدر

2009-09-11T05:52:00.013+06:00

آج یہاں اکیسویں شب ہے یعنی آخری عشرے کی طاق راتوں میں سے ایک رات، بس آخری عشرے کی شروعات ہوچکی ہے، یہی وہ عرصہ ہے جس میں ہر مسلمان اس ایک رات شب قدر کی رات کو تلاش کرنے کے لئے طاق راتوں میں خاص عبادت کرتا ہے. میں نے سوچا کے میں اپنے مسلمان بہن، بھائیوں سے وہ بانٹوں جسکا علم مجھے بھی ہے اور میں چاہتی ہوں کے دوسروں کو بھی اس سے فائدہ پھنچے . درجہ ذیل کچھ عبادات ہیں جو خاص طور پر اکیسویں شب کو کی جا یں تو اسکا بہت ثواب ہے.

سب سے پہلے فضیلت شب قدر

شب قدر کی عبادت ستر ہزار شب کی عبادتوں سے افضل ہے. حضور اکرم(صہ) ارشاد فرماتے ہیں کے میری امّت مسلمہ میں سے جو مرد یا عورت یہ خواھش کرے گا کہ میری قبر، نور کی روشنی سے منور ہو تو اسے چاہیے کے وہ ماہ رمضان کی شب قدروں میں کثرت سے عبادت کرے تاکہ ان مبارک اور متبرک راتوں کی عبادت سے باری تعالی اس کہ نامہ اعمال سے برائیاں مٹا کر نیکیوں کا ثواب عطا فرماے

١- پہلی شب قدر یعنی ماہ رمضان المبارک کی اکیسویں تاریخ بعد نماز وعشاء تراویح چار رکعت نفل نماز دو سلام سے پڑھے، ہر رکعت میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ اور سورة اخلاص ایک مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے .

فضیلت
بعد سلام ستر مرتبہ درود شریف پرھنے- انشا الله اس نفل نماز کے پڑھنے والے کے حق میں فرشتے دعا مغفرت کریں گے

٢- رمضان المبارک کی پہلے شب قدر کو بعد نماز عشاء َو تراویح دو رکعت نفل نماز پڑھے، ہر رکعت ،میں سورة فاتحہ کے بعد سورة القدر ایک مرتبہ، سورة اخلاص تین مرتبہ پڑھنی ہے -

فضیلت
بعد نماز ستر مرتبہ استغفار پڑھے، انشا الله, الله اس نفل نماز اور شب قدر کی برکت سے باری تعالی اس کی بخشش فرمایں گے.

٣- ماہ رمضان کی اکیسویں شب کو بعد نماز عشاء و تراویح اکیس مرتبہ سورة القدر پڑھنا بھی بہت افضل ہے

میں امید کرتی ہوں کے اسکے پڑھنے سے نہ صرف مجہے بلکے دوسروں کو بھی فائدہ ہو

انشا الله

Do Mullaon Mai Murghi Haram Part II

2009-09-06T18:22:00.008+06:00

Ok so this is certainly not related to the previous post that I wrote here, and is at long end from what Im going to be asking and explaining in this post. My question here is for all the Married Men out there (targeting the Muslim Men), why do they believe that they should have a Second Wife or a Third One in some cases. As for the views from شرع‎ I know that a Man has been given the right to marry more than 1 woman, but why do our men keep on forgetting the other parts of the Islamic Law like:

It is better to support a woman who is helpless.
Who is either a widow or an orphan or a divorcee.
She is not well-off, has kids and nobody to support her.
You must then attain complete harmony among your previous and your new families

But why do Men drool for women who are the opposite for what has been described, I can always see a poor helpless widow/divorcee woman on the road begging but I cant see no man willing to marry her. Is it just to have the taste of another woman(sorry to say it in this manner)in a legalized cum religious way? or is it just to torture the one who is already at home. I agree there are times when a man gets married again for the sake of having an off spring. In some cases I have even seen wives asking their husbands to get married again so that they are not left out from having a child. But their are cases when the 1st wife doesn't even have a clue what her husband is upto at her back for the past so many years. I remember I read an article on a similar topic where a woman describes her story something like:

"We just came back from our daughter's wedding, and my husband went for a quick shower. Meanwhile his mobile rang and I picked it up, it was a text message. And after reading that my eyes wouldn't believe what had just passed by. I quickly checked up the rest of the messages in his inbox and found out that it wasn't a Wrong Number. My husband was married to a woman for as long as i can think of without me even knowing that."

So this is the thing that I just cant get, why does a Man need another woman/partner when he already has one. If he thinks she isnt good enough than he should be a mind reader just to get to know what his wife really thinks about him. Why dont they think that nobody is perfect neither a man nor a woman (except that a Man has a disease where he thinks he is Perfect), but most of the times the reason given to a wife for her being imperfect are seriously pathetic. They cant do justice to a single woman how can they pretend to be looking after 2-3 women at the same time along with their kids.

The thought for writing this post came when a few weeks ago I saw a news on an Indian News Channel where a Man has been arrested for having 14 WIVES, now as far as our religion and law is concerned polygamy is allowed contrary to the Indian law where nothing of this sort can happen unless you are divorced. But I must say that this man had guts and time and some extra nerves to sustain his balance among those 14 women. He used to check out for a new wife after 3rd month of his previous successful marriage. His options were online matrimonial sites where he filled himself up as a Divorced Man with a handsome salary looking for an upper class working hindu girl who can be divorced or a widow. So after every 3-4 months he was with a new woman on another honeymoon trip and back from the trip he would again start looking for her new companion. Though he tried to maintain a balance among them by visiting each wife 3 days and leaving at the call of a fake meeting at a far of place somewhere in India.,this way nobody ever noticed for a long time for what was going on, until his discussions with his new wife to whom he exclaimed that he wont be having any problem if she had extra marital affairs, this shocked the new wife and her instincts to better keep a check on the guy before something goes over the head. And that was the end to his happy life with his 14 wives. For what he said on his behalf was:

"I didn't do anything wrong, Im better then people who have illicit relationships without even being married, Im better because I have legal *** with them"

So this was all about having Legal ***??? I mean is this the only thing that is up for in a relationship and is the only reason why a man is looking for a new wife??

Slaughtering in Fashion

2009-09-04T18:33:00.006+06:00

I have been switching through different channels for the past few days from about midnight till Sohoor, and all that I could watch in the news is murder, murder and some more brutal murder :O. Had seen a crime files program that gave me fits, and high depression later on coz what they described got printed on my brain, and my brain has a very bad habit to visualize what someone tells. And after visualizing what was described took the life out of my legs.

I saw three cases where people were brutally slaughtered for no specific reason. My mind was shunned by the thought that I can never ever in my life manage to even look at a chicken or an animal being slaughtered, how can people manage to slaughter HUMANS! Chickens make sounds when they are prepared for slaughtering, but we dont pay heed to them just because we dont understand what those poor animals are saying to us, but what does happen to one's ears when he is slaughtering a human alive, cant he hear the persons plea, his screams, cant he see the Goddammit look on that persons face. How can one be so blind and deaf.

There were cases when a young boy at a tender age of 20-21 broke into a Man's house to kill him, because he came to know that the boy's Mother had extra marital affairs with that Man. Luckily he couldnt find the Man but unfortunately he slaughtered the Man's wife and his 3 little kids :O. If the boy had real guts and dignity he should have slaughtered his own Mother instead of taking 4 innocent lives. What did the boy get after all this, sentence to life imprisonment, a life long guilt, a soothing record being played in his ears of the people screaming for mercy? Thats;s BS***

Then there was another case, where a brother slaughtered his own blood along with his family just to get his hands over some extra piece of land. just ask hu WHAT WILL HE DO WITH THAT EXTRA PIECE OF LAND WHEN HE WILL BE LYING DOWN IN HIS GRAVE. These were in caps coz I cant understand why do people kill their own blood relations just so that they can sleep in a little wider room forgetting that everyone will once be buried in 6 by 6 plot.

Then the last segment was the case of a man who ferociously slaughtered his own 4 little daughters ranging form 8 to 2. I was really heart broken at this last segment for I saw that man joining his hands infront of the camera and telling that he should be hung till death for he has killed his own daughters. Why didn't he think of it before he did all this. Now he wasn't in a Jalali Kaifiyat when he did all this and so he cannot be granted a lease certificate, no matter how mad a person gets he has to have control over his life or else he will regret it in the remaining part of his life. The reason for he did all this was the fact that his wife left him and went to her Mother's place along with her 4 daughters, the man was a sick headed pathetic human who could only produce filth in his mind and nothing else, got her daughters and slaughtered them for the fear that his wife has a brothel at her place and will turn his daughters into sluts. If he was so concerned for her daughters future he should have filed a case for their custody and would have worked hard for their better future alone, but that sick couldnt think of any other possibility but to kill them and that too not in a single go but kill them with the most depressing agony for those who come to know about it.

I dont know whose fault is it anyways, the Person itself, the Deceased or of the society in which they are blooming. The increasing rates of Flour and Sugar or the decreasing rates of family income. But one thing that people have really forgotten is the power to change their FATES through DUA.

Anger and Revenge!

2009-08-29T05:28:00.006+06:00

Sitting here on the laptop with a cup of green tea to sooth my mind, I just can’t figure out what had happened to me in the past few days. I m juggling myself to come up and write, have things in my mind to talk about but I don’t want to and I really don’t get that why I don’t. I’m visiting blogs, read what people are sharing that is coming up in their lives and what is happening out there around them. It’s not that I’m dead and that nothing is happening around me. Infact there is much more in my life than I can think of; loads of changes are going on within me and around me as well. Im looking at boxes of different sizes all piled up carrying my whole life within them, my childhood, my teenage and beyond that as well. I’m packing myself for not sure how long and when it will be the time to unpack is still unknown.

I have been pondering for days on what is with everything around me and within me. M I taking some sort of revenge from myself or is it just another part of the year Ill be passing by when the days get longer and the nights shorter. The time when you feel you have nothing worthy enough to think of or to do. You feel constipated regarding your thoughts, because the only thing that is working in your mind is emptiness. I’m so easily agitated and display utmost stupidity on the slightest injection of nuisance. I burp out all fungi type thoughts that were cultivated within me somewhere, from all the deepest darkest shady areas of my soul. And then the worse happens I regret what I have said and done, I'm immersed in that slimy fluid of guilt. The kind that resembles the quality of quicksand, the more you move the more you descend. The devilish side of your brain celebrates this event and takes you in the dungeon of doom where all of what you can think of is terrifying, filled with regret and guilt. The way you felt before of what happened is nothing infront of what will happen next. The wise don’t say it like this that“Nothing hurts more than words coming out from someone’s mouth”. Plenty of times I have seen people saying things out of rage which they don’t even mean. The thoughts that are buried inside them are instantly dug out and are tossed on the victims face without the notice of the perpetrator.

I have seen people fighting over the stupidest things on roads, streets, malls even in Masajid. Things that have no meaning what so ever but those who have a taste for anger enjoy every bit of it. They enjoy the flavor of humiliating someone, they take pleasure in announcing it to everyone how much tough time they had given to someone at a bus stand. Going through a similar article on a friend’s blog I share the same views as he does. Sometimes you witness something bad happening in public but you feel your hands are just held back by a force, often I have felt the same magnetic force to slap and beat someone really hard who was standing in public and was presenting a one man show of his wealth and power to a person of less affluence, whether it was his mistake or not only the poor has to suffer. Doesn’t matter if the rule is broken by a Toyota Corolla or a W11 the price is paid by W11.

Often have I noticed that men don’t spare someone when they are mad at them. And they regret it later on. They must do, but there egoistic companion keeps reassuring them that nothing has gone wrong, it's not a big deal this happens to everyone you’re not the only one, what else could you have done that stupid rickshaw driver wasn’t giving you the way. People say they have temper issues, but I say why they (including myself) keep it prevailing, why don’t we work on it, why don’t we sort out the issues that are accumulating within us. So that if and if we go through such a time we don’t bulge with anger rather we hold on to that patience which is needed just to pass those few minutes as after that the heat that is generated within yourself for pressing down that lava begins to serenade your ears.

We not just I it’s We who need the power to overcome this devil within us who enjoys and celebrates the festival of anger and revenge. Feasting over our emotions filled with guilt and regret. I guess it’s time now that we should put him to a fast!

Ramadan and Olper's Ad ;)

2009-08-22T00:29:00.005+06:00

Its always the period of festivities when the Big Brands launch special advertising campaigns. And the one's I really wait for are the Olper's Advertise and this Ramadan they had a real surprise for us :) A blend of Atif and Dawud Ali Warnsby a Canadian Singer. Both of them do look alike most of the times :P and I loved the part when Dawud sang in Urdu that was cute :D. It was amazing to see how the directors and the conceptual masters gathered all the cultures practiced in the Islamic Countries specially during Ramadan and it being the Holy Month brings us even more close to each other. This was written by Jameel uddin Aalee, and was made especially for the 2nd Islamic Conference held in Lahore in 74'. The Video of the ad is attached :) and very Happy Ramadan to all my Muslim Brothers and Sisters :)

In search of my Own Story

2009-08-18T17:07:00.008+06:00

In a van filled with around 7-10 people, you notice that nobody is interested to talk to anyone, be it they are colleagues, friends or just strangers, everyone likes to see through that plain transparent glass into the outer world. Thinking of his own story. What is going on within one cannot be discovered by the world outside. We are all passengers of the wagon of this World. Working, Learning, resting and searching for our own stories. For people living abroad, apart from their relatives from their loved ones life seems really miserable at times. But there are times, that the time spent with the ones you know is harder and even more worse than when you're suffering alone. You often get beaten really hard from them. And as a consequence your feelings inside while looking out of that window seems to be a questionnaire of what might have gone wrong with you and the world around.

I like reading faces of the people around. Try and assume what would life be for them. Hard, Light, rough, tedious or just plain LIFE . Waking up in the morning, getting ready, off to work, back home, eat, sleep and wake up again. Sometimes this life gets plainer and plainer. No need to think of something extra as you are doing the most you can bring out of yourself. Then what is the use to search for your own story. Is it mandatory? Is it necessary that I do have a Story of my own, that I can proudly or regretfully tell to anyone? Im confused which path to take, either to look for my own Story or try and look deep into whats going on in the lives of people around. People around who are not mine, Im not connected to them in anyways except for both being Humans and both having the need to survive in this world. I guess I want to try and help them pass this life in a better way, I wish I find my story here somewhere passing by this path.
I dont feel like worthy enough at times. But I know I am, I can do things I have in mind, but often there is a small pin somewhere in my mind which strikes when Im at the verge to do something. That pin is of an unknown fear. A fear I have not yet recognized, but I'm sure that with the passing years, and with my progression in this path of finding stories I will find a way to know what fear do I have and I suppose that I do have a story of my own, a story that is filled like a girlish diary about all the stories I have found in my way so far :) Coz I guess I like my Story that way :)

I Love this 796,096 sq km piece of Land called Pakistan

2009-08-13T23:24:00.010+06:00

It is my Country. My Beloved Pakistan. Pakistani being the name given to me after my birth, even before I had a real name, I had a definite identity on my Birth Card that I was a Pakistani. A person belonging to a Free Nation. Who has the freedom to follow what he desires. I love this Rich piece of land. Its the 62nd year of Pakistan's Independence a day to celebrate a day to cherish, a day to mark that there are innumerable facets of this Country to be Proud about. If there is Spielberg some where to be proud about, We have Shoaib Mansoor. If people were fans of MJ, there were people who loved Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. If Brett Lee is considered to be the fastest bowler, We have our Rawalpindi Express to beat him up.
This is the place when I reach I say to myself welcome Home yaar. A land of pure, of the richest of minerals and air. There isn't just one thing so profound about my Land. Its the land of Sufi's, Scholars, Philosophers, Artists, Scientists, Journalists, Politicians, Agriculturists, Economists, Bankers, Gorillas etc etc Gosh the list can keep on increasing. It was this day 62 years ago when the boundaries were marked and very little did Pakistan had of its own, and it is now just after 6 decades that Pakistan has become the 7th Nuclear Power of the World. A Nation of whose Unity the whole world is afraid of. We are a nation of almost 18 million people, who always are untied not only on the time of trouble and chaos but also at times when we have to portray the ultimate peace within our country and to the world around. I wish I had someone near to me, who would have witnessed the time of freedom, and who could closely narrate all those stories to me. That's just a small wish within me that is still unfulfilled. Im proud of my Nation as it is, and the people who have made this Nation what it is Now after 62 years.

پاکستان زندہ باد

Image Source

Regards,
The Anonymous Being :D

Going Green

2009-08-13T03:20:00.013+06:00

Ok it's been ages since I have been making myself to come down over here at my lovey dovey blog and post something. But every time I ended up doing other things overnight and forgot to blog :( my bad :P

I have become a member of the GoGreen clan since 6th of August and have successfully processed 225 images :D I know they are quite alot but in 8 days and alot of hrs each day u too will end up making this much DP's :P. GoGreen is a campaign launched by our very own.... IT Guru Mr.Farhan Masood, his initiative was to turn everyone's DP (who was willing to) Green, green in the sense the background was turned green with the Pakistani Flag (and not the person itself :P ). It was fun, many of us got united and volunteered for this work as the Guru himself is always busy :). Team members were Talal Masood, Ayesha, Nizamani, Razzman, Rehan, ||c0d3r||, Hina and a few others as well, Im sorry if I have missed out your names but it might be that I didnt know u were a part of the team as well :S It is a great effort done by the Green team, and we the members are enjoying it as much as the people who are receiving their requests :)
So if Anyone of you still wants his/her DP to be Greened email us @ greenkaro@gmail.com , hurry up as 14th of August is just one day away ;)

Im Green :) R U ??

When you think You were about to GIVE UP!

2009-08-04T22:20:00.005+06:00

I came across this heart wrenching video and it gave me just one thought that WHY am I always crying for things that make no sense at all. I'm moaning for stuff I would use once and will keep it somewhere at a place that I can never find again. And always crying asking Allah for why I'm like this, why this n that and so on is happening to me, I have done nothing wrong, I haven't stolen someone's assets, I haven't robbed a bank, I haven't even killed a living thing in my life, than why all this is happening to me. At times, rather million of times I think I cant make it upto the Top any more. Like the guy in the video describes I cant stand up anymore no matter how hard I try I feel I'm not meant for this task, its something done to me and I wasn't chosen for this thing, this is in-justice with me. But when I saw Him, I felt ashamed of my own self. I couldn't process more but the fact that I'm just a loser, Allah has nothing to do with me. It is "I" who is not looking into my own self, he knows what I can do but it's me who is still unaware of it. And instead of looking for it I say its not like this, HE cant just do this to me, I'm not worth all of this. I feel ashamed for acting like a loser my entire life!

Damn I Missed it !

2009-08-03T18:21:00.007+06:00

Ok so I was out for some shopping a few days ago, not the girly kind of shopping but the household stuff kinda thing. Was browsing through all the items and this time it was the turn of the Detergents shelf. Hmmm checking and suggesting as always which ones better, which one has got new offers etc. Got a glimpse of an old brand, how old I cant tell that :P and after reading the TAG line and checking a trademark I thought something FISHY is going on around in here. And as a record I took a photo of it and compared the brands when I reached home and to my surprise they were the same. I was definite that either one of them is cheating the other, I thought as I have discovered something WORTHY HAH! (my mistake) Then I thought to write about it, and so Im. BUT I was wrong at the main point. I tried to Wiki about it and when I read the truth I couldn't stop laughing at myself :P Well Im not that stupid either anyone who would have seen it would have thought the same.
The brands were OMO and Surf Excel. Both of them having the same Splat symbol and the same Tag Line "Dirt is Good". On Wiking I came to know that its a kind of business strategy that the Owner Company which is UniLever manufactures one brand as one name in a particular region and the same brand with another name in some other region. So its the same thing whether you see it here or across the seven seas :P

Ok apart from that if you really have some spare time on ur hands and you wanna enjoy something and have a good laugh then do check out this Flickr Link :P And dont just look around with your elders at the back these guys do have some nutty heads so be CAREFUL :P Now now lemme explain they arent really Rated R and I aint being sarcastic but Im just promoting the peoples different way of Natural ART :P hahahahahahah

10 Honest Things About Me TAG!

2009-08-02T17:49:00.006+06:00

So its the 10 Honest Things Tag for me this time, its been a week now that I have been tagged and Im not able to come up with one thing I was afraid how come Ill manage 10 :S Than I just made myself come up here and start writing as eventually the things will start popping up in my mind :P. The Tag goes like I have to state 10 Honest Things about me that most of my readers out there wouldnt know about, and later on at the the end as always I have to Tag some people about whom I wanna know ;) So the One who tagged me was Asad, and certainly I didnt know that he read me, might be coz most of the people who read my blog either dont comment or just pass by :P. Ok Apart from all this I better get started with the tag or else ill get carried away some where here and there :P

So the 10 Honest Things About ME are:

I have real strong Faith in my Allah, and I believe that after every Test, Hardship and Sadness there is another Flower that blooms and that flower is the Fruit of Sabr and Consistency.
I often cant describe what is within me, and sometimes when I give it a shot it comes out to be weird.
I am a die hard fan of animals(not all but most of em) My Fav's are dolphins, cats, dogs, birds of any kind,turtles etc etc now I should stop adding stuff in the list :p
Im a bit kanjoos at times, not much but most of the times im not in a mood to buy things :P
I somewhat dont feel my own pain at times, if Im broke, devastated, injured or be it anything I cant feel the damn thing.
Im not into crying...I cant cry most of the times, and certainly not infront of someone.
I always keep the smaller things in life more close to me than the bigger surprises. For me having a good lunch or dinner with my Family is the best treat.
Im more of a physical person than mental, I can do alot of work but when it comes to creating simple logics I often fail to :(
I love water, I cant explain this love but the pleasure and the feeling I get when I reach a beach or any where near large bodies of water Im simply elated with happiness. I someday wanna go deep inside it and see and feel how it is inside. But the fact is that I cant swim :S coz basically I haven't learnt to swim so far :(
So the 10th Honest thing right now was that I have passed by and read almost 4 blogs to clear up my mind before I came here and started writing these points specifically :s

OKie so practically I have successfully completed this long pending task ;) The ones whom I wanna tag would be

Ned
Fadey
Ubee
Siras
Falakk

for now ill tag just 5 as these are the only people I can come up with, rest of them ill sure will get annoyed at being tagged :P

Adios till then c(".)

Am I an Orthodox or an Islamic Extremist??

2009-07-31T15:01:00.008+06:00

I dont know If its just Me or is it like m happened to see these videos one after the other that is making me think what is going on with all of this. Pakistani's are wanting to bring the NY underground stuff to Pakistan's major cities. They want to see that part of the super powers that the NYorkers themselves dont really like much. I happened to come across this video in which the underground Night-Club scene has been shown and it isnt a hidden video its an open count video, nobody is hiding except for a few , infact they are happy in sharing their views. The owner of the night club wants to have NY in Karachi, he wanted to smell that smell in the streets of Karachi. The smell of what? Cocaine, Beer, Vine, n all that stuff?? I soo wanted to beat all them up, yeah some what like Talbanized woman or like ones from lal- Masjid I wanted to have a long bamboo stick and wanted to slash their flesh off of em. That makes me an Islamic Extremist, than yes I would love to. The girl who takes the cameraman into the club gives the viewers the intro that.....

"Its kinda good it has a good feeling to it,the thing we can do on a FRIDAY night"

Now what the hell do we do on a Friday Night, yeah we party hard, we dope, we drink and then we collapse on a guys lap and he picks us up puts us back in our burkha and innocently takes us back to our homes.

Just tell me How on earth can that stupid hunchbacked DJ girl say that

"People come and say to us that what you're doing is Un-Islamic, Its not drugs its something else OOps ok can i say this, can I say this...."

and she placed the word Un-Islamic in quotation marks as if she didnt think that this was Un-Islamic. I was having fits after watching this video. I could clearly recognize people's faces even after that censor boxes that most of em were famous VJs/Anchors of our Pakistani Channels partying hard on their day off. Owner of the club is stating How he didnt want to choose this place as it had a disgusting look to it but apart from that he chose it and its kinda great inside tu Ullu kay Phatty(sorry for being harsh) He could have spent that money clearing that Disgusting street rather than making it even more worse. Commenting on his Guards Gun

"Ok so where is it made from emmm Its Made in OH SHIT its Made in China. OKie now probably it wouldnt WORK"

Yes for that ill place it on ur head pull the trigger and than we will decide if it really worked or not.

The fact stated just at the start of the video is right, indeed half of our population is under aged and whom are they following. Yes they are following these people who come on TV, play innocent as if they are unknown about anything in Life. The youth is blindly trying to follow their trends. Kids in schools and colleges spend more time in straightening their hair in the morning, finding the right gloss, or the right watch and pick the right car to take to school. Ok for now this would be for the upper elite class but for the lower middle classed children things are even worse, they want to do all of this but just because they cant they become rebels.

Im confused why the Govt and the parents arent having check on such things. The Anti Narcotics Dept of Pakistan are declaring they want to get rid of this ill form the country but what they are not doing is to find the roots from where they can cut down the tree. I even remember a famous Night Club of Islamabad the well known Cat Club. The gentry that is welcomed there are either Ministers, Govt Officials or other elite people. Darn It! What ca be done if the source above is involved in such a dirt, ofcourse than nothing can be done for the filth beneath.

The most wanted DJ of this club is Faisal Baig the son of the famous veteran actor Nadeem Baig, people are even dancing off open air all drunk irrespective who would be watching them and who wouldnt. Long ago I remember I saw an interview of Bilkees Edhi in which she shamefully told that often Police inspectors bring in girls that they have found drunk near the sea side and they pick them up and drop them off there coz they dont know where they belong. Bilkees Saheba told that she would take care of them over night and shamefully when they woke up she said

"Woh bus hamain english mai galiyan day kr chali jate hain"

Now somebody ask their God Damn parents where they were when their Girl didnt reach home last night!
Im ashamed to see all this and just wanna burst into pieces for nothing. If incase once in life I encounter such a personality I sooooo wanna slap him/her hard and feel good ...or or ..I would rather use a Made in China riffle for them \m/

Am I an Orthodox???

2009-07-28T03:11:00.001+06:00

Im not an orthodox in any way, and neither do I relate this following video with any of my faiths, interests or views. Its just that I happen to come across this video on my facebook HIGHLIGHTS section. One of my friend had commented on this video and I happened to see it. The video made me think that our National Anthem certainly doesn't suit the way they are singing it. Im, I mean right now I dont have the words to explain what I really want to say. I cant say that the video has offended me, Im offended in some sense for how it is being portrayed, I know for those girls it is the culture and the society they are brought up in. As how much it is My Pakistan It's Their as well, but how they are meant to portray it's image means alot. Im still out of words and will just put up the video, and for most of the people out there it wont matter that much but it did matter something to me.

Shab-e-Mairaj (27th of Rajab)

2009-07-20T20:44:00.006+06:00

It is the day when our Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.W) went on this Miraculous journey through time and space. Saw with His eyes what can never be seen. The events that were taking place, saw people who were bearing the fruits of what they had sown. Our Prophet( S.A.W.W) saw what will be the end of everything, witnessed the most beautiful thing created by Allah known as the Jannah, the fruits and the gifts that will be the eternal property of the one's who have lived their lives with truth and dignity.

The Martabaat they will be bestowed with cannot be imagined, and cannot be compared with the deeds of this world. Saddening to know as much as our Prophet (S.A.W.W) saw the fruits of Jannah, HE also had to witness Jahannum, the place where the punishments cannot be even imagined of. How hard it would have felt to Him when He saw what would happen to those who will end up in Jahannum, for His love of Mankind he surely would have wished to save them all. That was it when he told the people of the world once he returned from Mairaj, about all what he saw both in Jannah and Jahannum. He told about the beauties that lie in Jannah, and about the people who will reside in it. On the other hand he clearly stated the position of the people whom He saw with his own eyes of what they were going through. He defined their state and the cause for which they ended up in Jahannum. It was hard at that time for people to believe as most of the sins didnt even exist at their time. But now a days everything that is cynical is right. And what is right is looked up as a SIN these days, thats the main reason that Now doing right is 80 times harder than doing wrong. You will find zillions of supporters for doing wrong and only 2-3 for doing right.
We have to stay on the path of the right if for sure we dont want to end up in those who were seen in Jahannum and certainly the women :s as thats the part that certainly freaks me out :(. InshAllah Allah always keeps us in His shelter and showers us with His blessings Ameen sum Ameen.

Beauty of a GIRL / WOMAN

2009-07-18T00:42:00.004+06:00

Was just wondering bout a few things, and was analyzing myself what could be the one possible attribute in a woman that makes her beautiful. A list of thousand points arouse in my mind. Sometimes thinking selfish of how hard this world is I justified that a girl's / woman's beauty is just what you can see means the outer beauty. Than the orthodox ideal struck in my head that all our mothers' keep telling us. No matter how beautiful you get the real beauty is the inner beauty. But still the generations old experience didn't satisfy me.

I mocked up a number of situations that a girl/woman usually goes through. Than characterized each attribute accordingly in that situation. Summed up the possible results and found out a few things that results in an eternal beauty for a woman. Out of which the most genuine and the most charming asset I feel a woman/girl possess is possibly her SINCERITY. Her sincerity towards her Parents. Her faith in her parents, and in return the faith of her Parents in HER. A woman's sincerity in Her Husband has no match with any other asset of her character. No matter she seems as pretty as Miss World, as smart as your neighbor's wife :P and etc etc, but if a Husband finds out that the one woman that he calls HIS is not actually HIS he forgets about every other asset in a woman. But if the only quality that a woman holds is her sincerity towards her husband than this is the knot that keeps both of them tied up for real long and real long means REAL LONG!

After this whole scenario passing by my eyes, my analysis than took a turn towards the Strength of a Man (not the beauty coz that didn't make any sense to me :P ). And after going through all of the above stated points I analyzed that the Strength of a Man lies in having such a Woman, and than caring and respecting her thoughts and values. If a Man doesn't look after such a Woman than I must say he is indeed making a fool out of himself. Whatever he is trying to find out in a smart, sexy, bold and outrageous woman can also be found in his Wife, if Only he could see her through the eyes from which he sees the other.

Every other person has his/her own views. The ones above are entirely through my own analysis and experience those who don't agree with it, I can only say that Your right in your way and so M I!

Changing Tunes

2009-07-14T17:07:00.005+06:00

Was browsing the channels when the new episode of Coke Studio passed by, it was Atif's turn I suppose coz he was giving his interview. The way the whole theme of Nusrat Fateh Ali's song being changed seemed interesting. The entrance of a high pitched chorus seems hard to grab at first but its sort of complimenting it all. Seemingly how a slight change in the tune can change so much from the previous version. The feel, the ambiance, the touch and everything. Alryt wont say much apart from that I enjoyed listening to this Changing Tune hope you guys enjoy it too.. Or should I say you would have coz you can easily catch up with these episodes on every other channel or directly on their official site. I really admire the efforts being made by Coke Studio they are indeed producing something productive out of these sessions that will be remembered for LONG :)

Buying a New Mobile

2009-07-13T16:06:00.011+06:00

Yes buying a new mobile can be a really big task, specially in this era when always a new mobile is an old mobile the other day *sigh*. The demands of the growing technology is driving me nuts because for the past 2 months I couldn't finalize the ONE mobile that apparently Ill be keeping for the next 2-3 years :S But that isn't sure either after what happened to my previous mobiles(one got broke and the other got stolen)

Kheir my list started off from Nokia E71(for my long love of having a Communicator). But then I have realized that all Nokia's are the same @_@ Yes indeed they have different bodies but internally they are all the same except for 2-3 models. Left E71 coz it came out a weeeeee bit out off my pocket. Then came along Samsung G400. Stylish fold mobile with a touch screen on the outer side for a few functions. And the same tragedy of budgeting struck with this mobile (Gosh Im feeling so poor :P ). Then came the newly released Samsung Star the one like Iphone. Its a good mobile I must say but still a lil less than IPhone but as compared to the prices and the features given along I suppose Star would be the best ;). But I couldnt get that one either *sigh* as my sister got that, that too coz she is getting married so she has a better opportunity to get things this way :P and heck I had just bought a new DSLR and yet m crying over a mobile. I can be such a whiner :P So obviously I had a cut in my budget because of that, so on the day on which I was supposed to buy a mobile I went blank to the shops :S Yeah sounds weird when the shopkeepers ask you for the model and your like "Kuch bhe dekha do" coz this act of yours surely disgusts them. Everyone knows how busy the mobile shop owners are and when they get stupid customers like me they want to burn their own shops :P hahahahahahah.

Okie apart from that looking around a dozen shops asking for models their prizes their features I got to know A Man's hunger for technology can never be satisfied. WHY? coz I wanted a mobile that should be CHEAP, has to be LATEST, with CAM greater than 3MP, must have an FM Radio, WiFi, and bla bla and the person who was serving had no other option but to give me blank looks as if he couldn't hear me :P. After a reckless effort of more than an hour I ended up buying Nokia's 7510 Supernova. M happy coz its a fold mobile (I always wished to have one :P). Features are ok good for a mobile that comes in my range. 2MP camera, Strikey front screen, Great colours, a heavy body :P, and what yeah FM Radio, Music Player( its an express music actually). The other tragedy sort of that happened with me on the shop was they couldnt find the set in Red Color (my fav color). Stupid jerks no wonder why they keep them for selling things. Possessing no Customer Care :P. But on my family's great pressure I finally had to buy this one in Zinc Green Color :( I was happy and sad both at the same time. Happy for u all know why and Sad as after so much of checking and tiring effort I could'nt get the mobile in Red Color :(.
With a tiny heart in my hand I got back home thinking positive that this surely wouldn't be my last phone on Earth and I would be getting enough chances to buy a new one in Red sometime soon. But what I didnt know was Allah would grant me my wish veryyy soon :D. As I got back home and started to unpack the box I felt the upper leaflet a bit heavier than it should have been. Upon inspecting it I found something I was wishing to have :D The box came with an extra cover and that too a RED one YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! :D. It could have been purple, blue or brown as it comes in these ranges but it was REDDD!!. I wanted to cry like a drama queen but my cry tanks are usually empty or not full :P This particular thing made me realize of how a person like me can be so un-greatful at times :(

Apart from this another unusual thing made me think twice before I ask for something that I already have but Im not satisfied with it. I was going through some old stuff of mine. I have to pack all of my stuff now and have to think which particular thing should be taken away and which has to stay back. I had loads and loads of course books that were of no particular use for me anymore. As with the growing advancements you can find everything according to your requirements over the internet. SO I didnt know what to do with all of those books. I really didnt want to throw them away, and If I asked them in exchange of money then ofcourse nobody would buy them. So I decided its better to give them away for FREE, as selling them would certainly not increase anything in my bank balance. The day I placed the ad. I got a dozen calls everyone asking for the books and trying to sort of book them for themselves but I couldnt book them for any particular person as they were for free, the one who comes first will get them all. The day before I got a call from a Man (most certainly a Filipino coz of his english accent as they have a unique way to speak in english ). He was living or God knows working somewhere near my area, when he asked me for my location he got happy and started thanking Lord of how LUCKY he was. I was amazed of how certain person thinks towards something. For me those books were helpful at the time when I really needed them and may be now was the time that this person needed those book even more than I did at that time.. He came to my place the other day and couldnt stop thanking me for those books. I felt kind of ashamed coz I wasn't the one to be thanked :S. But I felt pretty happy because instead of abandoning those books in some refuse room I decided to give them away. And most probably they will be coming handy to that man at this moment :D.
Ok so I guess this should be an end to such a lengthy post after quite sometime :). Uploading some pictures of my mobile hope U like it ;)

till then Adios Amigos :P

Baby Joys >D

2009-07-05T02:26:00.006+06:00

These photogrpahy sessions can be so exciting and so hectic at times when it comes to babies :P Babies are cool when they are sleep but once they manage to open their tiny eyes and get ready to make those lips move and give you those warning signals that the crying session is soon to begin that is the moment when u feel enough with the shots lets get this baby to sleep again :P (still need more shots ;) )

Babies are so cute WHEN THEY ARE ASLEEP ofcourse :P

Loved this angle kinda like a Peek a Boo sorta angle :P

Babies have the most interesting features all over their body :D

More Kid pictures will come along the next post. Till then hope u guys enjoy this one :)

Upload

2009-07-01T01:40:00.004+06:00

Ok m just practicing this new thingy that I have got just a few days ago. I dont have any professional training for photography and neither do I claim to be a PRO :P m just another person who has bought a cam and is now experimenting on some stuff. As my Manoo Bee is the only model of whom I can publically post pics tu you guys have to bear with her for the time being ;)

Will look forward to some good advices and again mind you am a bit soft-hearted so if incase ur thinking to say something hard think before u do lols :P

Quick Post

2009-06-30T01:20:00.006+06:00

Have a surprise for my readers. Rather it was a BIG Surprise for me :D

taan taan taaaaaaaaaaaaan :D Here it comes :D My all new

Sony α DSLR-A200 with a

18-70mm Zoom Lens

M happy M happy :D No more talk now as I have to go and explore my baby :) and now onwards ull be looking at different stuff on this blog and that too visually :D

اک ذرا سی بات

2009-06-28T02:07:00.003+06:00

اک ذرا سی بات گر سمجھ لی جائے،
وقت کو تھامے رہو ذرا،
کہیں ہاتھ چھوڑا نہ جائے۔

So all you lazy bones get back to work now

The Pop Star has Gone

2009-06-26T04:18:00.006+06:00

Ok so Im not that much of a Michael Jackson Fan. but this sudden news has shocked me. A Man who ruled the Pop scene for eras has passed away within seconds. Just few days earlier he was rehearsing for his Big Concert for which people were anticipating for long and today the Biggest Star of the concert himself passed away. Youngest Member of the Jackson Five and the Legendary MJ silently passed by. I remember a few of his songs like Dangerous, Blood on the Dance Floor with which he made a comeback after a long time, The best one was the one which had face morphing technique in its end ;) (Black or White)....
Living a life with so much complications and having a complete change in the setup of ur natural life does have a some diverse effects. Everybody knows how he suffered a whole body cosmetic surgery, and hell yeah that isnt a Joke. I have seen people crying who have simply had a rhinoplasty and life for a person who has gone through so much must have been something Different. Finally its upto God for He is the one who is the Head of us all and He is the one who knows better than us all.

Ok So Did I Mention?

2009-06-23T03:08:00.009+06:00

I forgot to mention it to No one else other than myself that I certainly have an exam tomorrow. I have to study I know that but why study (that is what actually is going through my mind). Hah as once got a twitter reply "Agr yehi koe pehly parh liya hota tu yeh din na dekhnay prhtay" lols that was a good one liner, easy to say but hard to apply mutually for all :P I know Im a good girl studying hard all the time but this particular Exam is driving me crazy :s Have studied all but that strong urge to just revise it all once again is nicking my mind........
Im into this planning and studying type of person. Do this in this period of time and then do that after this and so on....but after yesterday's disturbance in my schedule I certainly needed some BIG changes in these plans (T20 Finals YEAAH!!). This Exam on the other hand would be my last general exam for quite a lonnnnnnnng time now. Ill be finishing my course after this InshAllah and will sit back for sometime (not in particular how long) but inshAllah for sure will be back on track asap. Meanwhile I'll be taking falaks advice on what to add in my reading list for that time :P. Will be hunting for some new things to learn and to practise as no work is better learnt without practise. After this Exam will be regularly updating my blog InshAllah, with some new things that Ill encounter once ill be packing my room all up. Im sure ill dig up some really old stuff that Ill love to share with you all. So keep intact with my blog will be filling it with some new stuff soon inshAllah.

Need loads of prayers till then from all my brothers and sisters out there.
Chaos for now.

Haan Hum Aik Hain (We are ONE)

2009-06-22T01:08:00.006+06:00

Im really really happy along with the 160million Pakistani's who were so waiting for this day. A day that would certainly light their days Up. Not only was it like a chilled glass of water in these blood thirst days, but it surely IS a brighter star in the sky that is filled with so many stars of the hopes of Pakistani people.Of all that happened to the Srilankan team in Pakistan this match proved to strengthen our bonds even more. We dont care about any damn terrorists that come in between our healthy relationships with our neighbouring countires. We care about Humans irrespective of their race and religion, as Islam is not as these terrorists protryaing it to be.
Gosh! This is surely a match to remember ur whole life, each moment was filled with excitement and mind you I still cant beleive that we actually have won it. Seeing the clips of the After Match Ceremony, the team members holding the Trophy and at the spot the sound of "Hay Jazba E Junoon tu Himmat na Haar" makes you go off your feet and start dancing, it gives you goose bumps. Takes you back in the era of Imran Khan, Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis. And for all those youngsters who havent got a chance to play before than this T20 deserve this victory the most :)....
M Happy for my country coz after all what has happened with our country one after the other this event has united us all for good. For all the people who have contributed so much in the twitworld deserve a tap on the shoulder. Bringing Pakistan on the toppest rankings in Twitworld is BIG :P
Love You Pakistan.
Jeevay Jeevay Pakistan

Technology and the Terrorists

2009-06-18T00:47:00.003+06:00

Just couldn't resist sharing these two things in particular. The tremendously fast growing culture of sitting at home and enjoying the spirit of sports instead of being able to actually play it ;) This leads to the proposal of laws as the one in Australia where the stadium seats have been stretched to fit the size of one where there should be sitting two instead :P

And ofcourse this second video file. Sorry but you have to try and understand the concept yourself through their actions (just as I did :P). It's in some other language but it certainly IS trying to say something true :P

Here Im Again

2009-06-18T00:26:00.005+06:00

Hello All the pretty people out there, howz life treating you? M sure sometimes bad and sometimes not that bad as the thought of life as treating us good is not widely accepted World Wide ;). Have been a little busy lately, lately as in from the end of march till 23rd of June. Have just one more paper left and I know that it will pass by too with the blink of my eye (as they always use this phrase). I have been not at all up to date with what all has been currently going on in the blogsphere. The little I knew was through the daily twitter updates that I used to get. Zillions of times have I made myself to sit and come up with something but my bad there was one or the other thing I prefered to do than to write. It felt as though there was smething/someone on my back always poking me NOT to be here and to be somewhere else instead. That might be one of the many reasons I wasnt updating my blog. Have piled up alot of stuff in this duration and I wonder if I will be able to recollect it all and post it on from time to time starting from today!
Life has taken a HUGE turn for me. The place that I was not born but brought up is now seeming like a stranger to me. Have to leave the silence of this place and try and get settled in another world which too isnt a stranger for me but Im not well acquainted with it as well. Ill be shifting now from the place where I lived for years, back to the place which we call our Homeland and that too for good, means from then there will be no looking back, Im sad and happy as well (life as they say can give you a cocktail of feelings at times). I have nothing left of myself here now and feel this change as an escape to something new. How much new or how much fresh I cant determine that at the moment. Neither can I judge what this change will end up in. I have hopes of all this being good. Hope which is the only candle left in the darkness of emotions :P hahaha I just cant imagine how sad and stupid i can sound at the same time.
OKi apart from all this stuff, I mean all this serious stuff which is the reality of life that I have to accept and I definitely had, I wish that a new place, a new environment and some new people will for sure make it alot easier for me InshAllah :)

Chaos my friends who have been in touch with me all this time :P

آنے والا پل

2009-05-31T23:54:00.004+06:00

آنے والا پل جانے والا ہے،
ہو سکے تو اس میں،
زندگی بتا دو،
پل جو یہ جانے والا ہے

اک بار یوں ملی معصوم سی کلی،
کھلتے ہوئے کہا،
خوش باش میں چلی،
دیکھتا تو یہیں ہے،
ڈھونڈتا تو ںہیں ہے،
پل جو ہیہ جانے والا ہے

اک بار وقت سے لمحہ گرا کہیں،
وہاں داستاں ملی،
لمحہ کہیں نہیں،
تھوڑا سا ہنساکے تھوڑا سا رولاکے،
پل یہ بھی جانے والا ہے

The soon to come moment is about to go...
If you can, live your life in this...
moment that is about to go.

Once, (I) just met this innocent blossom (bud).
Blooming, (she) said
I am leaving happy.
When I look, it is right here.
When I search, it is not here.
This moment that is about to go.

Once, this moment fell from time somewhere.
There I found this tale.
The moment is nowhere.
By making you laugh a little.
By making you cry a little.
This moment is also about to go.

And this is how THEY do it.

2009-04-27T02:25:00.003+06:00

Breaking a Red Light is equivalent to paying 6000QR/= as the fine Money. And these guys have no trouble at all :P( as if they care ). They are cool enough as they know the fact they cant get CAUGHT :D. Even if the Camera has taken the shot they cannot be identified under any circumstances. Wonder how much far they had to travel just to come across from Hayatt Plaza till these Signals :P

Where WAS I?

2009-04-23T00:58:00.006+06:00

Nope I certainly have no clue as in Where the Hell was I for the past few months, Havent gone for a world tour, neither came back from a trip to heaven. I was here at the same place for all this time. I dont have a reason why I wasnt updating my blog, nor writing bout something important, entertaining or worthy. Even for today I have just logged in on my Mom's sake (she like's Me doing good things :P ). For all these days the only thing related to my blog was to check my email and find Teabreak's updates and that too shamelessly I marked as read without even passing a look at it :S. Guess there is some spirit within me stopping me from doing all of this, but then again that is just being foolish. I m not sad, nor depressed nor frustrated, nor m I in search of myself (the all famous dialogue ). I was just being Me somewhere.

In between all I did was pass my time with some Sughar Larkiyun walay kaam :P I learnt some stitching (karahae) art heck that was fun but it hurts alot as well :P, guess that was it of what I was upto these days (loads of em). I guess Im happy giving sometime to myself, sometimes it feels quite relaxed staying away from all sorts of updates :P. M still not sure if I'll be posting quite often from now on as well, but I'll try my best :)

Loads of blessings for all my bloggy friends out there.

Allah Hafiz.

World's Tiniest !!

2009-02-28T18:38:00.006+05:00

Fellow Peeps, have come here just to share with you a new and a real cute thing that I have discovered in a box lately, its tiny, its cute and its surely one of a kind :P [ not exactly one of a kind they have made other pieces as well ;) ] So I present to u PROUDLY the one of a kind that I have now The World's Tiniest Tape Dispenser :D:D:D:D:D:D hahahahahahaha, I mean just look at its Size, I was really shocked to see it at first not knowing that such a thing would exist as well, I have also owned the tiniest Staplers but I really didn't have a clue about these :P And yeah It's not just an empty Dispenser it has a roll of Tape in it as well.

As for a Comparison I have also presented a contrasting Image of an average Dispenser and the Tiniest One :P Loads of Difference ehhhh ;) and yeah these Images are real close shots so they might appear slightly larger than they actually are ;)

And not to mention the source from where I have discovered this Proud Creation :P and that is the Magic ToyBox hehehehe I know that is a weird thing to buy, but the truth is I dont buy such things my SIS loves buying tiny tiny things same as what she used to do when she was a kid ;) top of the list would be Kinder Surprise :P so this being a part of her Childhood she often tests her fortune on these tiny boxes ;) and this time her Fortune led her too Guinness Records :P hehehehahahahah

And to My Another surprise just today have I found out that my Manu Bee has a Manu Billa too :P I mean just look a him, look at those love filled eyes ;) who else would he be other than her Billa or u can say Would-Be Hubby, but Im ashamed to say that ma Manu Bee has found love in a Coward :P he is far more afraid of a Human than a Pigeons Offspring ;) and this Image my Fellow Peeps is the end result of an effort of 1.5hrs :O

Hope U enjoyed my Discoveries alongside ;)

Have a good day.
till then Doodle-Do ;)

A New Thing that I Discover :P

2009-02-27T23:18:00.003+05:00

Lols It just popped up to me that from now on whenever Ill discover something that would be NEW to me ill drop by here and share it with other people no matter how common it would be for others. Like right now I have discovered how versatile this new browser is, named FLOCK. It just arrived through a Tweet. I mean a Peep Awais Naseer tweeted about how he was njoying Flock and Safari browser side by side. I had been hearing about Flock since long but never gave a thought to dll it. And now I did :P and to my surprise this is the most complex yet so dynamic at the same time. It is basically a social networking browser with almost all the social vibes built in it. From Flickr, Facebook, Youtube, Blogger, Wordress to any other thing that is Social. A dyanmic toolbar that allows u to choose from any site that U want to get connected to, and most of all the interesting FB sidebar :P a unique n easy drag n drop feature, media bar that shows u the most amazing collection ;)
Im happy to have discovered something New and yeah If u have time then do give it a look ;) here

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Funny Funny :D

2009-02-27T02:26:00.004+05:00

Hilarious Wedding Dance Though its not a Pakistani Wedding The anecdotes are just so timely

Kaise Tauba ty Astaghfar

2009-02-21T00:48:00.017+05:00

PS: for all the people who stopped by and were unable to read Im really sorry for that coz being Punjabi myself i didn't realize that most of U out there wouldnt be able to get it. So I'm not a translator or a trained interpreter but being able to understand it I'll describe it in my own words as thats all i can only do.

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار،

ہمیں دے کر چھوٹی چیزیں،
بڑوں کی تم نے بازی لگائی،
مسلمانی یہ کہاں سے آئی،
یہ تمہارے کردار۔

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار،

جہان نہیں جانا وہیں جائیں،
مال پرایہ لوٹ کر کھائیں،
جھوٹی کتابیں سر پر اٹھائیں،
یہ تمھارے اعتبار،

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار،

ظالم ظلم کرتے ہؤے نہیں ڈرتے،
اپنے اعمال کی موت مرتے ہیں،
منہ سے توبہ دل سے نہیں کرتے،
ادھر ادھر ہوں خوار،

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار،

سو دن جی کر بھی اک دن مرنا ہے،
اس دن خوف خدا کا کرتے ہیں،
آخری توبہ کی توبہ کرتے ہیں(کاش یہ توبہ پہلے کرلی ہوتی)
یہ توبہ کس کام کی پھر،

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار

بلہے شاہ کی سنو حکایت،
ہم نے بھی پیروں سے لی ہدایت،
میرا سائیں شاہ عنایت،
وہی لگائے پار۔

نہیں پڑھنا ہے استغفار،
کیسی توبہ ہے یہ یار

I hope I would have done enough justice do it, again I would say that I have translated it at my level best Im not a PhD Punjabi or something I might be wrong somewhere but as far as I can get it M right :P hope now my bloggy friends can get what Bulleh Shah was trying to say :)

I know Im Lost.

2009-02-21T00:17:00.003+05:00

Hey All,

I'm sorry to say that haven't been able to post anything for like more than a week now, and it seems ages. Have been feeling guilty for not staying up-to-date. Had loads of ideas and thoughts to share but couldn't just make myself come and type something. Might be I have gone lazy or irritable or any other thing, but things didn't seem to end up here for me.

Listening to the news for the past few days have made me think how In-Humane we Pakistanis have become, we are selling our patriotism(if there was any at the first place) Pakistan seems to be in a worst condition than ever, but it seems as if nobody is ever bothered about it. The leaders are as calm as ever, the public is as confused and frustrated and as aggravated as ever. Crimes aren't falling any lower, inflation is at its peak (though this is the thing equally shared worldwide). Population is increasing even at a higher rate than an ants army/colony, everywhere u see there is a human working his head off to get enough money to buy himself bread n' butter. And on the other hand there r those who are sitting on the chairs, reading newspapers, drinking their coffee, talking on the phone, signing one or two papers and have enough money to charter a jet. Bearing all this doesnt seem to be everyone's cup of tea, but still we are swallowing this bitter node. Thats the reason frustrated souls have escalated so much in the past few years.

The 4 Tag for ME

2009-02-11T19:44:00.004+05:00

Ok so i was tagged before by Youtee kinda around 2 weeks ago and then today by Luboo for the 4 Tag Game. But m such retard that i kept thinking for so long as in hat would be the 4 things that I would plac in each list . Im a loner basically nothing much to do in my hand. Usually remain bored and as a result my brin is kinda rusted as well. So finally I have musterd up some courage to atleast write something than NOTHING

4 Places I Go to Over and Over Again
Thats damn hard man :S

Early Morning to the washroom.
Alternate Days to the Institute.
Occasionally to Malls for shopping.
And daily for a walk in the Eve.

4 People Who (E-)Mail Me Regularly
Nobody bothers to Email me or keep me updated for any reason :(

My sister often sends me some Fwded Emails.
My buddy Ned often sends me some of his new digital creations for sneak preview and for my honest critics ;)
My bro Fadey sends me some useful emails, mostly my answers regarding code horrors :P
and yeah Mc.Afee and I dont know why the hell M i stuck over their Server though i havent used Mc.Afee ever in my Life.

4 of My Favourite Places to Eat (Apart from Home)
M a total Foody :D, usually go for the Junkies

Die Hard fan of Pizza and i only prefer Pizza Hut for this.
Opera Cafe.
Shezan (a local Pakistani Restaurant) for its Special BBQ.
Hardees.

4 Places I’d Rather be Now

In outer space.
In the Kitchen to eat something :P
In the Institute most probably.
Some where deserted and alone.

4 Favourite TV Shows

Ugly Betty
Grey's Anatomy
Usually Discovery Documentaries :P
Pakistani Dramas.

So thank God thats it, and I hope I havent left anything behind :)

Now I tag:

SufiNed
Fadey
Jingoist
Dinky Mind.

بکیے

2009-02-07T17:43:00.008+05:00

اس حادثے کے بعد میں جب بھی کبھی شفق صاحب کی خدمت میں حاضر ہوا، تو انہوں نے ہمیشہ شفقت ہی فرمائی۔ ایک بار میں ان کے ہاں پہنچا، تو وہاں ایک ہندو کوی بھی موجود تھے۔ شفق صاحب نے اپنا کلام سنایا۔ ہندو کوی نے بھی ترنم سے اپنی چند کویتائیں پڑھیں۔ اسکے بعد وہ میری طرف مخاطب ہوئے اور بولے اچھا اب آپ بی کچھ بکیے۔ کوی صاحب کے اس بے تکلفانہ انداز پر میں کچھ حیران ہوا، تو شفق صاحب نے ہنس کر فرمایا آپ برا نہ مانیں۔ ان اطراف کے ہندی محاورے میں بکنا، فرمانے کے مترادف ہے۔ بڑے بڑے جلسوں میں سب سے معزز مقرر کو اسی طرع سٹیج پر لایا جاتا ہے کہ اب ہمارے مہا بکتا سٹیج پر پدھار کر کتھا بکیں گے

Just read this piece in QU Shahab's ShahabNama, and it just struck my mind that how versatile our language is. Means even regarding someone or meaning addressing someone can be done in numerous ways. There is " آپ " and then there is "تم ", even "تو "can be used at times. But might be it would be an outcome of my lack of lingual skills or something but i couldnt find any other word for addressing then the word "You" in English or " انت " in Arabic. I mean we have a vast literature or lets not say literature but lets just talk about the common language. Then there is Hindi which is indeed not a pure language. Its a slang and distorted mixture of Urdu and at times Sanskrit. Taking out a single word of Sanskrit doesnt match with any word of the mingled Hindi at all, and then these people ask us do u speak Hindi. Gosh there isnt any such thing as Hindi its the copy or ver 2.0 of Urdu created by Indians. But then again we, Urdu's sole bearers find it so hard to understand though i guess it would be the easiest of all languages, coz I have seen Iranians, Chinese and many more foreign students opting for Urdu as their subject for Masters or at times even for PhD. It makes me happy and a bit sad as well as in how badly we are treating our Beloved Urdu

A Neat Transition

2009-02-04T01:04:00.005+05:00

I love the Center One

Teen Teen Teen(Ringing sound)

2009-02-01T23:24:00.006+05:00

Dont take this post title as m having some post teen jilts or something coz I didnt even have it when I was a teen myself, Its the constant beep teen sound that I can still hear in my head, and its all coz of my fast driving, careless overtaking and drinking mineral water while driving at a speed of 140km/h Driver . I mean I could have said him to drive slowly but have talked to him twice before I guess and that stupid hears my voice and turns a 180degrees, looks at me while he is driving. And i cant risk making him turn at such an angle with a speed of over 130km's. Gosh! he has even slept over at such a speed, and I had to clear my throat really badly just so that my voice could bring him back 2 reality. Already i was having a bad day, than again a boring lecture over stupid .Net Authentication which for by far I had no interest in. The constant lights off and on in the class and looking constantly into the laptop during all this was giving me circus spins . And uper say my friend M was so into asking me the meaning of the word "NOW" that I cant really imagine how I made him understand what NOW stood for. Im laughing so badly right now thinking upon it as in how that poor guy would have understood the meaning while I was just saying him.

See NOW means as in Just NOW, or like Right NOW, and all i could see was his smiling blank face

I mean the telling him the meaning of the word TOUGH was farrrr easier then explaining him the concept of NOW. Me no Arabic and He certainly No Good ENGLISH . Apart fromt that got back home and found out that Miss Manoo Bee wouldn't be let inside the house from now on, as my sis has developed some sort of allergy from her and also because she constantly brings piles of mud into the house so better off feed her outside and no comfy bed for her from now on . Below is the day spent in Videos n Pictures

The constant beep sound can be heard in the background.

During the Boring Lecture

My Palo Manoo Bee :(

From Chander Mohan to Chand Mohammed

2009-01-31T19:33:00.005+05:00

Was browsing through some boring networks on my TV when i noticed some weird crying and mourning news on Sahara, out of thought i predicted it would be one of those terror attack stories. But on further clarification it came out as a Minister lad or should i say a Man as he is no where near a lad converted to Islam just so that he can marry the love of his life. Now this seems weird he could have married her anyways just like all the other Actors have done so. But the case was then again that this would be his second marriage, he was already married with some 2-3 kids from his first wife. And as stated in Hindu law or State law watever, who doesnt support polygamy. Meaning they cannot marry again without a divorce. And "Sonay pey Suhaga" Women have the right to present Divorce in Indian or Hindu law etc.

So to marry the love of his life who was formerly Anuradha Bali, and now called Fiza they have converted to Islam, with a thousands support of Muslims from around the country. And this ticked my mind really bad as in why are Muslims supporting a Convert who has accepted Islam for not what Islam is or Allah or Muhammad (PBUH) are but for that so he can easily marry another woman without any allegations from the Law. I mean what about the kids then are they Muslims now after what their father has converted, or are the still Hindus?? M confused as in what is it? is Islam a joke for the Muslims of India or all over the world or what. I mean I havent seen any other confused Muslims in the world in the case of marriages then in India. Where there is a solid clarification in Islam that a Muslim Man cannot marry a woman who is not from one of the Holy religions. Means Hinduism is struck off from the beginning of the list. Then why these people keep on repeating the same stuff generations after generations. I remember their was a show on dunno which Indian Channel where some so called real life bf/gf were meant to compete in order to get married, and there were i suppose 2-3 couples who were Hindu/Muslim and none of them were thinking about the fact that have to be thinking about what religion they will be pursuing or to be precise their children. They were bothered bout what their parents will say. And MashAllah the parents had other issues who were far more important than religion like how will the girl adjust in a joint family with loads of family members. I mean WTH is that?? does it hold any value?

M perplexed!!
Want further reading then go here

Manoo Bee.!

2009-01-29T17:10:00.006+05:00

Was planning to share this Vdo of my Manoo Bee long ago but possibly couldnt get the time to upload it and post it. She isnt any Hi-Fi kitty from Hollywood just a simple street cat, I remember spotting her somewhere in our compound 2 years ago, she was quite small at that time. But then again she landed in our area for like 2-3 months now, and have been under our care for half a month ;). She is one Fat Kitty I should add, and a Curious one as well. Highly curious about our drawing room items :P But poor thing nobody will let her in to that place as we all know she will end up breaking something. Also she's the damn cleverest of all that I have seen so far, she will cry at your doorstep with a horrible horrible I say really horrible voice and as soon as you open your door will give u those Big Big Puppy eyes like this one as if she was starving for ages, and baby she has got a good taste of a 5 star hotel menu doesnt eat anyother thing like those kittys I remember from Pakistan who could eat any possible thing u gave them including butterpuffs :P And after a few trips inside of our house she has figured out a new way to stay inside more by laying down and pretending to play dead while we try and drag her out of the place. Gosh animals are clever! even more than a 3o year old guy. M just *shoo shooing* her most of the time in the video, have a watch n do comment on my Manoo ;)

My Description!

2009-01-27T14:14:00.005+05:00

As noticed on Ubee's blog i thought why not check my technicalities Though I have erased the really bogus and irritating stuff

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Aquarius.
Your Life path number is 6.

Your fortune cookie reads:
A firm friendship will prove the foundation on your success in life.

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 24 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1407 (1407-5-24).

As of 1/27/2009 3:40:04 AM EST
You are 22 years old.
You are 264 months old.
You are 1,148 weeks old.
You are 8,038 days old.
You are 192,915 hours old.
You are 11,574,940 minutes old.
You are 694,496,404 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Alicia Keys (1981) China Kantner (1971) Corazon Aquino (1933)
Dean Jones (1931) Edwin Newman (1919) Ernie Harwell (1918)
Virginia Woolf (1882) Robert Burns (1759)

Top songs of 1987
Faith by George Michael
Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Alone by Heart
With or Without You by U2
La Bamba by Los Lobos
I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston
Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2
Didn't We Almost Have It All by Whitney Houston
I Knew You Were Waiting by Aretha Franklin & George Michael

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 4 & 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Leo.
Your opposition number(s) is 1.

Your birthstone is Garnet
The Mystical properties of Garnet

Garnet is used as a power stone
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Emerald, Rose Quartz

Your birth tree is
Cypress Tree

The Faithfulness - Strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, happy content, optimistic, needs enough money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic and careless.

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

You entered: Sana Nasir

There are 9 letters in your name.
Those 9 letters total to 33
There are 4 vowels and 5 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 6

The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3

An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

Hand Buddies Ver 2.0

2009-01-26T21:52:00.004+05:00

I know it seems as if they are some sort of Aliens but guess what m getting super crazy about these Animes I wish they could have appeared as animated but Alas they are static . There was a Personal Version of this art work that I posted some time ago over here and then I thought why not try another version and to tell u the truth It seems kinda creepy but what the Heck atleast I tried what I had in mind. And I enjoyed it alot

PS: End note is I wont hear any Negative Criticism over this art piece and my ears will be shut like this So please dont bother

It was My Birthday

2009-01-26T17:13:00.008+05:00

Well was my birthday yesterday yeah yeah another year passed by just with the blink of an eye. Have grown old guess neither that much of physically or mentally as thats how I see it. Havent seen a major change in myself since quite a long time.

Had a cake to celebrate my Hatching Day, made by my lovely dovely wovely Shishter MUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAH's for u (and yeah a bow too ) Got Cash this year instead of Gifts from Mum n Dad as obviously they couldn't think of anything to Present me this year coz they kept on asking me what I wanted and I kept on saying I'll think and let em know till the day arrived and they handed me the Cash to buy whatever I wanted later on. Will not be posting the rest of the gifts coz last years gift's sad stories shall not be revised this year. The day went well with a "REALLY NOT TURNED OUT TO BE A GOOD" surprise from my Friend but it ended out to be a source of laughter later on but then again when u grow old, Eids and Birthdays are just like any other day. Dont know how much more years or days will be written in my fate. But just pray that they pass by happily and peacefully

Love to all the people around the world

2009-01-24T01:47:00.005+05:00

Im just not finding the right things in Life these days. M searching,searching and searching some more, but guess cant find the right motivation, the right path or the right law to feed my senses. My innerself is asking for so many things but i dont know why Im bound and where m I bound. Im tied up from inside and cant release myself from it anytime soon.
I want this and that, but I dont want this and that at the the same time. Phases come and go along with life but when ur going through one u find urself miserable than anyother thing. M not miserable though, bt neither m I content. Im happy with everything that I have in my life yet I know there is something that is lacking and i long for it, I cant grab it, I cant own it but i want it. I neither know will I get it, nor I know if I can own it. M stuck somewhere in a room and I can see windows, I can see lights, I have a brain, I can think but somehow none of this is helping it. I dont wanna get hurt, I dont wanna fall off or get laid back stuck in that room, and the only thing i can trust upon right now is Allah. I need some rest, or should I say the Me inside me needs rest !

“Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious...”
Michael Stipe

OMG

2009-01-22T22:06:00.004+05:00

m so soooooooooooooooooo excited to install these super cool smileys. As wherever i was passing by i could see these hillarious smileys apperaing bt Alas after trying so much i couldnt get or u can say discover the right code.... BUt now i can say that i produly done it, and wanna say that for firfox users it's just a few clicks away. Im sharing for those who are interested to add em up at their blogs as well....

Simply start ur firefox.
Install Greasemonkey, its just another add-on from firefox so u can trust it.
Then u can either Install the Basic Smileys or the Funny Smileys or both if u want too

M feeling super super Happy today....lols though it isnt something that big but it was something i wanted for quite sometime now lols but HECK if i got bored ill remove em all someday. Moods swing u say . I guess an additonal screenshot would help u determine how eventually it would appear to u

Till then Adios

Anonymous Thought's Blog

My Ego once told Me.

اس عالم

I Love you Stranger.

Starbucks.

Im NOT an Exception!

Is it all because of you?

The Last Kiss.

Serenade to Me!

Sacred Fragrance

Dear Me

That Morning's Glory!

'Words'

Its time to Leave that hand.

They Say..

First Day Already?

I say I'm a Failure

I guess this is Eid then?

A Trip to the GraveYard

Lailat-ul-Qadr

The World of Tags

Yes, Im forcing myself.

اقبال کا مومن

شکریہ پاکستان

Ermmmmm. Im Sorry =/

Sweet Dreams..

Epidemic Videos

*Yippie*

You took him Away!

update update update update update update update update

I HATE you Satan ...

Daam

Tale of Embarrassments..

Nibha na Paen!

Painfully

Damn ME!

BLOG!

Happy Birthday Goli Moli

Switching Places

License to Kill

Happy Birthday!

Exactly which part of the Planet are you From ?

Ay ALLAH tera shukar!

LIES all around.

Time Goes By...

Garfield It Is ..... =D

The Admission Drive..

I missed Writing !!

Bye Bye

عيد مبارك

انتیسویں شب قدر

ستائیسویں شب قدر

پچیسویں شب قدر

تئیسویں شب قدر

اکیسویں شب قدر

Do Mullaon Mai Murghi Haram Part II

Slaughtering in Fashion

Anger and Revenge!

Ramadan and Olper's Ad ;)

In search of my Own Story

I Love this 796,096 sq km piece of Land called Pakistan

Going Green

When you think You were about to GIVE UP!

Damn I Missed it !

10 Honest Things About Me TAG!

Am I an Orthodox or an Islamic Extremist??

Am I an Orthodox???

Shab-e-Mairaj (27th of Rajab)

Beauty of a GIRL / WOMAN

Changing Tunes

Buying a New Mobile

Baby Joys >D

Upload

Quick Post

Sony α DSLR-A200 with a

18-70mm Zoom Lens

اک ذرا سی بات

The Pop Star has Gone

Ok So Did I Mention?

Haan Hum Aik Hain (We are ONE)

Yippie